Saturday, February 21, 2015

The Idler, Wednesday, February 11, 2015

The school run

THESE Maris Stella mums are getting flightier by the day. In the Street Shelter 

for the Over-Forties the other evening, one was telling me about a hiccup she 

had on her school run.

Everything was planned to a T. Departure time. Route. Traffic time. Drop-off time. 

Quick peck on the cheek time for daughter. Then scoot on to work.

It went well. She jumped some traffic lights to gain a few minutes. She wove in 

and out through the Berea traffic. She pulled up outside Maris Stella.

Then quick peck on the cheek ... er, no daughter. She'd left without her.

Race back home. Daughter standing at gate trying to get her nutty mum on 

cellphone. Quick pick-up. Race through heavier Berea traffic. Pull up outside 

Maris Stella, just in time for school assembly. Quick peck on cheek for daughter – 

and this time it materialises.

No names, no packdrill. Children have to be protected against embarrassment 

caused by their parents.

Cricket greats

MEMORY Lane time. A book has been written about Eric Rowan, 

the great South African Test captain of yesteryear. Readers have 

been writing in about Jackie McGlew and Neil Adcock and the way 

Old Collegians, which previously had been open only to Maritzburg 

College old boys, suddenly changed the rules so that McGlew 

could have in his club side the great Neil Adcock, his attack bowler 

at Test level.

Now Chris Taylor tells of a club game in Joburg, in which he was 

involved.

He was playing for Wanderers against Jeppe Old Boys. 

Wanderers were preparing to bat and as Jeppe walked out to field, 

Athol Rowan (Eric's brother) was puffing on a cigarette.

Eric: "No one plays in my team and smokes on the field."

Athol: "Is that so, Eric? Now you have 10 men."

At which he got into his car and drove off.

Eric then spotted a young lad in a Jeppe blazer.

"Got your kit?"

"Yes sir."

The lad was Neil Adcock He took five Wanderers wickets. Tony 

Harris said he was one of the fastest bowlers he had ever faced.

"It was Adcock's first league game - as a schoolboy."

Chris notes that playing in that club game were not just Eric and 

Athol Rowan, Neil Adcock and Tony Harris but other big names 

such as Geoff Chubb and Mick Melle – South Africa's opening pair 

– Transvaal captain John Ellis and Ola Grinaker.

"What was a 21-year-old squirt doing there?"

Not smoking, I'll bet.

Collegians confusion

MEANWHILE, some light is shed on the Zingari/Old Collegians 

set-up in Maritzburg club cricket.

Collegians club has rugby, hockey, bowls, tennis and squash 

sections. It has a football section who play under the name 

Savages. And it has a cricket section called Zingari.

There is also a cricket club called Old Collegians. Its members 

are all of them members of the Collegians parent club. But the 

Collegians cricket section is Zingari.

It's a little confusing – the way the town itself is officially known as 

both Maritzburg and Pietermaritzburg – and it goes back to the 

days when Old Collegians wanted to open their cricket club to all 

comers – not just Maritzburg College old boys – but the codgers 

voted against.

Collegians then disaffiliated them and Zingari took their place. 

But they all hoist a pint in the same bar, where there is also an 

unofficial choral section.

I'm obliged for this information to my old mate Freddie Davel, who 

played rugby for Collegians and cricket for Old Collegians and was 

for many years my gallant skipper and flyhalf.

Fred is a picture of fitness today, attributable to his years of 

alternately leaping skyward to take my scrumhalf passes and 

stooping to take them as they hurtled at grass-top level. You've got 

to keep these flyhalves on their toes.

Cheesy

SIGN on a wine lorry: "IN CASE OF ACCIDENT – bring cheese 

and crackers. Lots and lots of cheese and crackers."

Tailpiece

THE Lone Ranger finds Tonto lying on the ground.

"Stage coach come this way,"says Tonto. "Two men, four horses. 

Stagecoach have lady inside. One horse got only three shoes."

"Tonto, you know all that just from listening to the ground?"

"No, him run me over two days ago."

Last word

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a 

very narrow field. 

Niels Bohr

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