The bugle calls
THE traditional celebratory feue de joie at the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties was supposedly in recession last weekend. With the Sharks not playing for the next few weeks there was no call for a fashioning of catapults from the ladies' knicker elastic; no call for a shooting out of the streetlights.
But then emergency. Messerschmitts streaked across the sky. The windowpanes rattled as Durban came under aerial attack. It was the London Blitz all over again.
But the Street Shelter home guard unit swung into action. Anti-aircraft stations! The gals volunteered their knickers. Very soon the fellows were in position with catapults, ready to fire upon these raiders from the air. The Street Shelter has its serious side.
It was a tense stand-off. But then the word came through: this was not an attack on Durban, it was some fun and games down at Greyville racecourse called the Sky Grand Prix. Panic over - stand down, the home guard unit!
It was heartening to see the alacrity with which this Street Shelter unit sprang into action; the willingness with which the gals surrendered their knicker elastic.
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
Oi 'ad 'er, Oi 'ad 'er,
Oi 'ad 'er, oi oi …
AARRR … for a toime it looked loike zelebration in the Big Zmoke, toime to break out the zider …
What drama at Twickenham, Exeter versus Saracens, the West Country versus London for the English rugby championship. At halftime 23-6 to Saracens. A few minutes from time 23-20. Then eventually 28-20.
What a fight-back by Exeter. What close to flawless, committed rugby by both sides. Twickenham packed with 75 000 spectators. Devon had emptied. Imagine if Exeter had played both halves. Aarrrr …
SARACENS have now won the English championship on top of the European – what a double.
And it's nice that a South African club should be doing so well: Brits, De Kock, Barrett, Bosch, Burger, Du Plessis, Hargreaves, Joubert, Kruis, Mordt …
A PLAINTIVE e-mail is doing the rounds: "Hi chaps. If you can help a friend – please! He bought tickets for the rugby Test match in Port Elizabeth on June 25, SA vs Ireland, and has paid for accommodation and the hospitality suite.
"The problem is that it happens to be on the date set for his wedding which has been planned ages ago at a very exclusive venue.
"He wants to know if anyone is interested in getting married?"
LAST week we discussed a holiday resort with a difference in County Sligo, Ireland. Tourists are accommodated in converted buses, taxis and a train. Soon a Boeing aircraft will be added to the amenities.
It recalls a case some years ago in Johannesburg, Two sub-editors on the now-defunct Rand Daily Mail took up residence in an old Rolls Royce.
This Rolls had no engine so they had it towed and parked outside their watering hole, the New Rand Hotel.
After a few snifters they would totter out and doss in the Rolls, to be woken next morning by the hotel waiters with coffee. Then they would go inside, avail themselves of the corridor bathrooms then take breakfast in the hotel dining room. Then on to their sub-editing. It worked well. It had a certain cache.
Until, one morning, they wakened to the cops banging on their window. "You can't park here like this. Move on!"
"We can't. We haven't got an engine."
They opened the bonnet to prove their point. At which the cops called a tow truck to take the Rolls to the police pound.
End of quality digs. Those Rand Daily Mail sub-editors had style and panache.
THE Durban Symphonic Choir turns 50 this year and a lass named Liz, who is secretary, appeals to past members to give her any old photographs, programmes or newspaper articles so their archivist can get things up to date and prepare a display for a reunion lunch that is planned, as well as for their next concert in August.
They can get her at email@example.com
HOW many cover blurb writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A vast and teeming horde, stretching from sea to shining sea.
I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.