Tuesday, June 19, 2018

The Idler, Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Kick of destiny

FREE State stadium stood in a moment's silence last weekend to mark the death, aged 76, of Syd Nomis, the brilliantly mercurial Springbok and Transvaal threequarter – he played centre and wing – who scored six tries in 25 Tests in the late 60s and early 70s (a time when Test matches were few and far between).

A YouTube video now recalls Nomis's first try for the Boks, at Ellis Park. It was from a diagonal punt which fell magically into his arms as he ran full-tilt for a sensational try.

What made the try especially unusual was that the diagonal kick came not from the flyhalf but from the hooker. Also that the hooker, Gys Pitzer, was actually trying to kick for touch the other side of the field, but the ball came off the wrong side of his boot, providing Nomis the wonderful diagonal punt.

This was confirmed by Nomis in the same video. When he thanked Pitzer for the superb kick that brought him his first Springbok try, he replied: "Don't be silly, I tried to kick it into touch the other way."

A hooker upstages his flyhalf with a kick for touch that comes off the wrong side of his boot to create the perfect diagonal punt for the wing to score. This story has the absolute ring of truth.



NIGGLE, niggle. A lot of our sportswriters and rugby commentators describe the diagonal punt for the winger – used a lot these days - as a "crosskick".

That's just wrong. A crosskick is when the winger, hemmed in against the touchline, kicks infield to his forwards for them to collect and make for the posts.

It's not used that often these days, but could be worth trying again because it has the cover defence rushing in exactly the opposite direction.

Also, these guys keep describing the loose forwards as the "back row". That might have been accurate when the eighth man and the flanks bound together and pushed against the locks in the 3-2-3 scrum but that ended when – was it the 1920s? – today's 3-4-1 formation was adopted.

A back row of one man is not much of a row.

Here endeth the niggles.




FATHER'S Day story. Curtis May's daughter and granddaughter took him out to the Bohemian Hall and Beer Garden, in New York, for a Father's Day lunch last weekend.

Curtis ordered a burger, asking that cheddar cheese and mayonnaise be added to it.

He enjoyed his burger but, according to Huffington Post, when the bill came, the girls noticed that the cheese and mayo request had been added to the slip, followed by the words: "Please spit in it too!"

"I ate my burger already. I felt like I was gonna throw up," Curtis told a local TV station.

The waitress denied having anything to do with it. Management said it was highly unlikely that any cook would spit in a meal, but it refunded the daughter and granddaughter. Curtis is still queasy.

These Bohemians! Anything goes!

The finger

THE sheriff's men in Covington, Louisiana, in the US, are throwing all resources into solving the mystery of a fresh human index finger found in the stomach of a turtle.

The finger was found by a fisherman who was cleaning the turtle in preparation for cooking it.


"He was cleaning it for a meal, at which time he found it inside of the turtle and we were contacted," St Tammany Parish Sheriff's Captain Scott Lee told the Huffington Post.

"We notified our coroner's office and they determined it is, in fact, a human finger," Lee said. "This is a very, very odd occurrence here."

Lee described the turtle as "pretty large," and said the fisherman caught it in the Tchefuncte River, north of Lake Pontchartrain.

No missing digits have been reported at the local hospitals, though the authorities believe the victim could have been too embarrassed to seek medical assistance.

Perhaps some clue lies in the name of the turtle species - alligator snapping turtle.

It obviously could not have been part of a dispute with a cricket umpire whose lbw decisions were disputed. Not in good ol' Louisiana?



"Who's there?"

"Yoda lady."

"Yoda lady who?"

"Great yodelling!"

Last word

A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that which we take the least care of all to acquire.

Francois de La Rochefoucauld


Monday, June 18, 2018

The Idler, Tuesday, June 20, 2018

Bunting goes on display


BRITISH Tory MP Sir Christopher Chope had an eye-catching array of bunting – women's knickers – strung above the doorway of his constituency office in Christchurch, Dorset, the other day.

According to Sky News, it was a protest against Sir Christopher's action in the House of Commons in blocking the progress of a private member's bill which would have outlawed the practice of "upskirting".

This means taking a photograph up a woman's skirt without her knowledge, something comparatively easy these days with smartphones and things.

The "without her knowledge" bit surely seems superfluous. Does the man exist who would have the temerity to tap a lady on the shoulder in a tube train, say, and ask if she would mind terribly if he photographed her panties?

Of course, upskirting is predatory, deplorable and insulting, highly distressing to the victims. I'm told it has spread from England to Scotland, where it's known as "upkilting" and is causing great distress among regiments such as the Black Watch, which are being preyed upon by lassies with cameras.

The Voyeurism (Offences) Bill, proposed by Liberal Democrat MP Wera Hobhouse and supported by several members of the cabinet including the prime minister, would have outlawed such activities but Sir Christopher stood up as it was introduced for its second reading in the Commons, saying:" I object!", sending things back to square one.

Does this mean Sir Christopher supports the practice of taking photographs up a woman's skirt? Apparently not. What he objects to is the process. The bill should have been properly discussed in advance, he says. His embarrassed Tory colleagues describe him as a "dinosaur".

Who strung the knickers across his office doorway? It was one of his constituents, Lorna Rees, who says:" No-one should be allowed to photograph my pants unless I want them to."

Again that question of permission. 'Tis weird and the whole thing is totally incomprehensible anyway to habitues of the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties, where the gals are given to brandishing their knickers, especially on rugby days.


Ancient world


HERE'S a matter of international import, reaching back to the ancient world. Greece and Macedonia have been squabbling for years over the name "Macedonia".

Macedonia was the home turf of Alexander the Great, who went on to conquer Greece, Persia, part of India and Egypt – hence Alexandria. It was the greatest empire the ancient world ever knew.

But things unravelled after Alexander's death. Part of Macedonia went to the Balkans, eventually Yugoslavia. Part went to Greece. When Macedonia emerged as a sovereign state from the break-up of Yugoslavia, it found itself adjoining a Greek province also called Macedonia.

Neither side liked that. But at last Macedonia – the country – has agreed to be known at the UN and elsewhere as North Macedonia.

This sounds like an incomplete solution, like Northern Ireland and Ireland. It also reminds me of a contretemps I encountered in Britain.

Many years ago I applied for a work permit there. It was an exhausting process going from one department to the next, sliding bottoms along benches. The end stage was getting the permit booklet – like a mini-passport – from a kindly police sergeant.

"Son," he said. "It says 'ere you was born in Dundee. If you're born in Dundee you don't need a permit to work 'ere."

"It's a different Dundee, not Scotland."

"Where's this Dundee?"

"Northern Natal."

"'Ow d'you spell that?"


When I looked at the document, part of it read "Nationality: Northern Natal".

'Twas a lonely time being the only Northern Natalian in the world. Maybe I should have applied to join the United Nations.

It's too late now, but imagine a triple alliance of North Macedonia, Northern Ireland and Northern Natal, making itself felt at the UN.


Verra Scots


OUR local Dundee is, of course, very much Scots in origin, peopled originally by coal miners from the Old Country. Not far away is another town named Glencoe.


In the old days the local Zulus spoke English with a strong Scots accent because that was all they heard.


Today the Dundee Diehards are known for their colourful re-enactments of the Battle of Isandlwana, while the Talana museum nearby is a repository of items recalling the nearby first action of the Anglo-Boer War.





WHAT'S furry, has whiskers and catches outlaws?

A posse cat.


Last word


All television is children's television.

Richard P Adler



The Idler, Monday, June 19, 2018

Shadow show drama

A FEATURE of my humble abode is an extra TV screen that appears on the wall of the sitting room during the dark watches of the night.

It is caused by spotlights illuminating the grounds of a church next door. This light comes through a window to create a rectangular patch of light on the opposite wall.

On its way the light encounters various bits of foliage, which creates a moving shadow show of palm fronds and other leaves as they shift in the wind. It's a not unattractive feature.

Then in the early hours the other morning I was startled awake by a sudden sound.  And, among the fronds and foliage of my shadow show, was a human being.

Sure enough, a dude was on my second floor balcony, looking in through the window. Had he climbed up the drainpipe in a fit of absent-mindedness, or was he up to no good?

I'm afraid I rather jumped to conclusions. I yelled at him that I would kill him by shoving my hockey stick up his rectum. I nipped round the corner to fetch the hockey stick, but by the time I got back he'd gone.

The sound that woke me was, I think, his stumbling over my paddleski that is currently stored on the balcony.

Alas, in Cyril Ramaphosa's New Dawn it's still advisable to have a hockey stick to hand.

Ole, ole, ole!

SATURDAY'S game was not as thrilling as the previous week's but it was great, workmanlike Test rugby all the same. It puts the Boks Number 3 in the world rankings and is a great step-up to next year's World Cup.

Duane Vermeulen, Faf de Klerk and Willie le Roux – all playing in Europe – were again outstanding. Part of the World Cup build-up ought to be an audit of just what talent the Boks have available from overseas.

Great grumpiness

THE latest newsletter of investment analyst Dr James Greener is positively suffused with grumpiness.

On copper exports:

"Despite not mining very much of this metal, it is reported that South Africa is one of the world's leading exporters of copper. The suggestion is that the supply comes from the large-scale cable theft that plagues the nation, in particular the railways who use miles of wiring to connect their signalling systems.

"If true, this is astonishing and hints that, like so much crime taking place such as cash heists, it is suspected that corrupt and criminal officialdom is playing a role."

On Eskom:

"There isn't a single metric that doesn't confirm that Eskom employees are enormously overpaid and, worse still, that the organisation is massively overstaffed. Reportedly, far too few of these employees have much of a clue about electricity generation and distribution.

"And yet they are on strike in support of a large pay rise. This stayaway has triggered load-shedding, the polite and non-threatening term for power cuts, which happened in parts of the country just as soccer fans opened the first beer and began a month of hurling advice and invective at their TVs. Poor timing if they seek sympathy."

On the Football World Cup:

"Zabivaka is the name of the official Football World Cup mascot. Supposedly a cool and friendly character with 'shades' pushed back onto his head, on inspection he is still a wolf with more than a passing resemblance to President Putin."

On the Trump-Kim Jong-un meeting:

"President Trump's diplomatic dance in Singapore with the bizarrely coiffed top man in North Korea has set off a firestorm of opinion, ridicule and praise. Some are even suggesting a Nobel Peace Prize is in order.

"But the real award should be an Oscar for the choreographer who staged the dramatic peace march of the two peacemakers through matching facing colonnades to the meeting spot. Such theatre!"

More Eskom

A COMMUNIQUE from Eskom is doing the rounds:

"We have good news and bad news.

"The bad news is that the s*** is going to hit the fan.

"The good news is that the fan will not be on because we have load-shedding from 8 to 3."

Is this genuine?


WHY is the ocean restless?

Well, wouldn't you be restless with crabs all over your bottom?

Last word

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers space is finite. This is a very comforting thought – particularly for people who can never remember where they left things. – Woody Allen

The Idler, Friday, June 16, 2018

Another humdinger beckons

WELL, here we go for another humdinger. England are desperate to keep the series alive, the Boks keen to close it down. The only way either can succeed is by a repeat-plus of the same we saw last week. Running it, caution to the winds. Tackling. And avoidance of silly buggers penalties.

Bloemfontein is in for something spectacular if last week is anything to go by. Habitues of the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties are likewise in for something spectacular if the damsels' reaction last week is anything to go by. Knicker elastic for the fashioning of catapults for the traditional celebratory feu de joie, where the streetlights are shot out. Oh boy!

These Tests are virtual warm-ups for the World Cup. And we're discovering something. The overseas competitions are beginning to inject something to our home rugby. Look at Faf de Klerk (man of the match) Willie le Roux and Duane Vermeulen. They're all playing in the top-notch European competitions – a sort of internationalised club rugby - and last Saturday you could see they've been honed to a new sharpness.

'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!

Peace initiative


NORTH Korean dictator, Kim Jong-un, has offered to host peace talks between the United States and Canada, according to the New Yorker.

This follows increasingly acrimonious exchanges between Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and President Donald Trump and his officials on the question of trade tariffs.

Speaking to reporters at his hotel in Singapore, Kim said the rising tensions between the North American neighbours were posing an "intolerable threat to world peace."

In addition to offering to host US-Canada talks in Pyongyang, Kim urged the immediate creation of a demilitarised zone along the border separating the two hostile nations.

"In exchange for the Canadian Mounties agreeing to stand down on their side of the border, the US, in turn, would dismantle its nuclear weapons," Kim said.

Although stating that "North Korea stands ready and willing to be an honest broker" in peace talks between the two countries, he urged Trump to dial back the "inflammatory rhetoric" that he aimed at Canadians.

Yes, you've probably guessed, this is satirist Andy Borowitz again. The man is in clover.

Daredevil raccoon



I've told the possum in the gum tree,

the raccoon on the ground ...


NOT THIS raccoon – he scaled a 23-floor building in St Paul, Minnesota, in the US, taking almost a day over it and keep the city and the internet world on tenterhooks, according to the BBC.

The critter, dubbed #MPRraccoon after the radio station opposite the high-rise, trended worldwide on Twitter.

Crowds gathered at the building after it went viral, and local media streamed its perilous climb for almost a day.

Eventually he reached the roof in the early hours, where he walked into a waiting trap baited with cat food. He was later released by animal welfare authorities.

Raccoons are common in the US, but are usually found in alleys or riffling through rubbish bins – leading to the common nickname "trash panda". They're all over in Minnesota –but you don't often see them scaling office towers.


 Ornery alligator



YOU don't want to get into a bar fight with this alligator. He head-butted a Florida Fish and Wildlife trapper and knocked him out cold.

It happened at a place called Ocoee where people had reported a 2m alligator wandering round the neighbourhood, according to Huffington Post.

The trapper and two cops managed to catch the 'gator. But when they tried to heaver him into a truck, he went bananas. He backflipped and head-butted the trapper, who went out for the count. He thrashed around with his tail, whacking both cops.

It was captured on video and went viral on the internet. Cagefighting agents want to give the alligator a contract.


A BLUFF okey is walking along the beach when he spots an old lamp half-buried in the sand. He picks it up and starts brushing the sand off.

Kazam! A huge genie appears. "I can grant you one wish."

"I would like to live forever."

"I'm afraid that eternal life is the one wish I cannot grant."

"Okay. I'd like to live until the government has balanced the budget and paid off the national debt."

The genie pauses. "You're a sly little bugger!"

Last word

HEGEL was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history. – George Bernard Shaw



Wednesday, June 13, 2018

The Idler, Thursday, June 14, 2018

The Magheramore solution

THE "soft" border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland has become a major sticking point in the increasingly intractable wrangle over how Brexit can be implemented.

The soft border – no immigration controls, no customs barriers – is an essential part of Irish life both sides of the border and an essential part of the Good Friday Agreement, which has brought peace. It is difficult to see how this can be reconciled with Brexit.

Many blame David Cameron, the prime minister who called the Brexit referendum, for creating this can of worms. A simple majority should never be allowed to determine such a momentous and complex issue.

Meanwhile, down at Magheramore beach (in the South) 2 505 naked women have stormed into the sea, setting up a new Guinness World Record for "largest skinnydip", beating the 786 at Perth, Australia, in 2015.

This Brexit logjam requires unconventional resolution. How about getting the Magheramore gals to storm the North-South border in the nude (setting up yet another Guinness record), David Cameron posted there to turn them back? You never know what might happen. The shock might concentrate minds all round. 'Twould be just deserts for Cameron.

Walls of Canada?

IS THE Great Wall of Mexico to be joined by the Great Walls of Canada?

President Donald Trump left America's traditional allies – all of them - reeling as he stomped out of the G7 meeting in Canada for talks with America's traditional rogue opponent, North Korea.

Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau's rebuke that his country would respond to US trade tariffs drew a response from a Trump adviser that Trudeau deserves "a special place in hell."

Is there such a thing as the "western alliance" any longer?

Trump has already promised to build a 3 200km wall shutting off Mexico from the US. Howick's resident theoretical physicist, Rob Nicolai, suggests that, given the verbal pyrotechnics, Canada could be the next to be walled off.

But, he points out, besides the main border with Canada (6 379km), there's the border further north between Canada and Alaska, which is 2 460km.

That would be a lot of wall – 12 039km in total. But what a boost it would give the American construction industry.


A TEXAN man was rushed to hospital after being bitten by a dead rattlesnake. And it really was dead. He'd just decapitated it with a spade when he spotted the 1m snake in his garden in Corpus Christi.

His wife, Jennifer Sutcliffe, told local TV station KIII that it bit him when he picked up the head to dispose of it.

He was flown to hospital by helicopter, in a critical condition, and began to recover only after 26 doses of anti-venom

Old cash

Bundles of decaying Second World War banknotes, probably stashed away in case of Nazi invasion have been discovered under the floorboards of an old clothes store in England.

Shopfitters found the cash on the site of what was once Bradley Gowns - now a Cotswold Outdoor store - in Brighton, according to Sky News.

The hoard of £1 and £5 notes adds up to about £30 000, which is the equivalent of more than £1 million (R18m) today.

Bradley Gowns - which had a flagship store in London - had a number of famous clientele, including members of the royal family and Winston Churchill.

The money was covered in dirt and debris  is now in the possession of Sussex Police for safekeeping.

Howard Bradley - sole surviving heir of the family that ran the chain of shops - says he believes it had been hidden in case the Nazis mounted a successful campaign on British soil.



DIALOGUE IN A New York bar.

"Where are you from?"


"Dat's amazin'. I'm from Dublin too. Let's have a drink to ould Ireland."

"Of course."

"What school were you at?"

"St Mary's. I graduated in 1962.

"Dat's amazin'. So was I. I also graduated in 1962. Let's have anudder drink on dat."

"Of course."

The manager comes in. He asks the barman: "Anything much doing?"

"Nothin' much. Just the O'Flaherty twins getting' plastered again."


Last word

On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.

George Orwell

The Idler, Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Singapore summit drama

ON THE eve of the big summit, Kim Jong-un was detained and questioned by Singaporean immigration officials when he arrived at Changi airport. However, according to Sky News, it was not the North Korean leader. It was an Australian comedian who bears an uncanny likeness to Kim and specialises in impersonating him.

The officials quizzed the comedian – who calls himself Howard X – on his political views and told him he had arrived at "a very sensitive time." He was told to stay away from the summit between the real Kim and Donald Trump.

But then they let him in after aboiut two hours. Howard X says: "I guess after analysing the situation they decided it was better for me to come into the country than actually deporting me.

"After all, if they deported me the headline in the newspapers all around the world would have been 'Kim Jong-un deported from Singapore', which I'm sure is something that the Singaporean government would not want."


Howard X earlier this year ambushed a team of North Korean cheerleaders at the Winter Olympics while dressed as their leader.

Has anyone checked whether the person the American president had talks with actually was the real Kim Jong-un?


Baobabs in trouble

AFRICA'S giant baobab trees – magnificent features of the savannah - are dying in mysterious circumstances, according to the BBC..

International scientists have discovered that most of the oldest and largest of the baobabs have died over the past 12 years. They suspect the demise may be linked to climate change, although they have no direct evidence of this.

The trees can grow to an enormous size, and may live hundreds if not thousands of years.

The researchers, from universities in South Africa, Romania and the US, say the loss of the trees is "an event of an unprecedented magnitude".

"We suspect that the demise of monumental baobabs may be associated at least in part with significant modifications of climate conditions," said the team.

Have they thought of investigating any connection with plastic wrappers and bags, that are causing such havoc in the oceans? On land, these festoon baobabs as much as anything else, and these lordly trees could be dying of shame.

Crested newt

HE great crested newt has flummoxed plans by British singer/songwriter Ed Sheeran to build a private chapel where he can marry his girlfriend Cherry Seaborn.

Sheeran has submitted to Suffolk Coastal District Council a planning application for a Saxon-style chapel structure on his private estate.

But Suffolk Wildlife Trust says there are records of great crested newts in the area. Ponds within the boundaries could be breeding sites.

So chapel building and wedding are on hold, pending a survey to determine the presence or otherwise of great crested newts.

It might sound fussy and bureaucratic, but these days one is on the side of the great crested newts.



Luck in disguise

A JAMAICAN lottery winner accepted her $180 million (Jamaican – R18m) prize, winking and smiling. Reason: she was wearing a winking-face emoji mask.

According to The Jamaica Star, the woman – named only as N Gray - used the disguise in response to rampant crime in the country. Nor was she the first. According to the lottery organisers, previous winners have also resorted to disguises to protect themselves.

South African readers will understand perfectly



DURBAN poet Sarita Mathur reflects on the meaning of philosophy.

What is the meaning of Philosophy, I asked my son.
He said 'Life and all that stuff'
What the mind of man is made of,
The working of the brain.
My friend said 'That which makes you who you are,
Your belief in Life'.
I said 'Simple Goodness'.
Living Life without strife.
Is it the psychology of the Brain
Or Awareness
Stemming from the heart
Or Universal Truths
Of which we are a part.
Philosophy is knowing who we are .
Our creation has been for a reason.
And we must first understand, then achieve our goal,.
This will satisfy our soul.
Unlocking the mystery and understanding sociology.
I think that is Philosophy.



HOW many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But there must be three light bulbs.

Last word

Boxing is just show business with blood.

Frank Bruno

Monday, June 11, 2018

The Idler, Tuesday, June 12, 2018

The new diplomacy?


PRESIDENT Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un, of North Korea, sit down for talks in Singapore today, a historic meeting of the world's two worst haircuts.

What will they discuss? Er, that's not entirely clear. Trump operates largely without the professional input of the State Department and conventional diplomacy. Maybe they'll crack a joke or two about the way he bombed the G7 meeting in Canada – a trade war with the EU, Canada and Mexico; shredding the communique; why wasn't Russia invited? Hilarious, twos-up to Mueller the witchhunter! That'll show those schmucks.

And now a curious story is doing the rounds, that the State Department input might be replaced by the efforts of a facilitator, an American basketball star named Dennis Rodman.

Rodman appeared on Trump's reality TV show, The Apprentice, and apparently they get on well.

Rodman is also a fan of Kim-Jong-un. He's visited North Korea several times. Sky News has footage of him singing a soulful "Happy Birthday" to Kim.

Rodman is of unusual appearance. He has a large ring through his lower lip and only slightly smaller ones through each nostril.

This would be unconventional diplomacy, to be sure. But then what has been conventional about the US presidency in recent months?




WE BEAT England at rugby. We beat England at sevens rugby. Our gals beat England in women's cricket.

Ole, ole, ole!




OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "Success at dominoes is like success with women. It's not how you pick them up, it's how you lay them down."




MY OLD pal Gregor Woods agrees with me entirely that we need to go back to paper and cardboard and abandon the plastic bags and wrappings that are strangling the world's oceans.

In the late 1960s he managed a supermarket on the Bluff, They used paper grocery bags.

"Unfolded, they had flat, square bottoms, so the empty bag could be stood on the counter, open and erect without needing to be held open with one hand as with plastic bags

"We placed loaves of hot bread and hot rolls in paper packets, hence they never 'sweated' and became soggy as they do in plastic. In-house butchers wrapped fresh meat first in waxed paper and then in brown butcher's paper, tied with biodegradable string. The supermarket suppled large re-usable carry bags made of very strong paper with thick string loops for handles, also entirely biodegradable. Everything worked.

"It wasn't until about 1968 or1969 that plastic bags came to be used by supermarkets, and only in recent decades did these become South Africa's national flower, adorning trees, hedges, barbed wire fences and the ground itself.

"And now they are permeating the oceans, killing whales and other sea creatures. Where next? Outer space?"


Gregor is a man whose opinion is to be respected. He had the distinction during schooldays of crash-tackling the headmaster of Maritzburg College in a case of mistaken identity.


Finch benefit

DURBAN musicians are to join a countrywide (plus Namibia) fund-raising effort in support of singer/songwriter Brian Finch, who has been diagnosed with cancer.


The Durban benefit will be at Musketeers (the old German Club) in Barham Road, Westville, starting at 2pm on Saturday.

Entertainment will be provided by Dicky Roberts and Don Clarke, Tiffany Sheppard, Rorke Kemp, Alchemy, Spider Murch, Graham Boyle, Salty Dog, East Coast Basement Blues Band, and others. It's organised by Dicky Roberts and Don Clarke, two of Durban's musical characters.


Brian was born in Durban, and has had a long and illustrious musical career. He is now based at Prince Albert, in the Western Cape.

He played with Brian Gibson at the renowned club, Totum, in Durban in the late 60s and also worked with the late Ken E Henson in the duo Finch & Henson, who toured South Africa extensively. Brian has also performed as a solo artist.


Various donated items will be raffled to augment funds raised.


Tickets: R50 adults, R30 children under 12. Bookings: Charmaine, 084-5481385  .





Billy-Bob calls an ambulance for Emily-Sue, who's taken ill.

Operator: "What's your address?"

"We're at 1132 Eucalyptus Drive."

"Can you spell that?"

A pause.

"How about I take her over to Oak Street?"


Last word


But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated. - Ernest Hemingway