Coronavirus –
more helpful
advice at hand
MORE advice comes this way on how to deal with the coronavirus.
"I heard a doctor on TV saying in this time of coronavirus staying at home, we should focus on inner peace. To achieve this we should always finish things we start and we could all use more calm in our lives.
"I looked through my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum. Tha mainder of Valianun scriptuns an a box a chocletz.
"Yu haf no idr how flepin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner pees. And telum u luvum. And two hash yer wands, srafe day avrybobby!!!!"
This arrived anonymously. I wonder if it's raconteur Spyker Koekemoer (aka Pat Smythe), writing some time after 10am opening time for Irish whiskey at his residence, Casa Mia?
Bug aims high
PRINCE Charles, Prince Albert of Monaco, Prime Minister Boris Johnson, British Health Secretary Matt Hancock, South African Olympic swimming gold medallist Cameron van der Burgh (now living in London) … this coronavirus bug aims pretty high.
Bojo will no longer meet Queen Elizabeth in person for briefings until he's emerged from self-isolation. It's now by telephone. Food and documents will be left at the door of his flat in No 10 Downing Street. Meanwhile, his pregnant fiancee Carrie Symonds is apparently not at No 10, she's in self-isolation elsewhere.
You couldn't make it up. This is the stuff of a super-soapie.
Then Bojo's chief adviser Dominic Cummings was photographed running away from No 10 soon after the Bojo diagnosis was confirmed this week.
Huh? What on earth was that about? Weird, weird, weird! One suspects this soapie will run and run.
More drama
IF IT'S not royalty and the politicos getting infected with the coronavirus, there's other drama in the UK.
A media release by the Portsmouth Police comes this way: ""You may be aware of a large police presence near the Rose Gardens in Southsea. There is nothing to worry about, we have an unexploded device that has washed up and will soon be securely detonared. If you hear a large bang, please do not worry."
Tailpiece
AN ELDERLY couple are both having problems remembering things. Their doctor tells them they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night while watching TV the old fellow gets out of his chair.
"D'you want anything from the kitchen?'
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
"Sure."
"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"
"No, I can remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?"
"I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries"'
"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down."
"I don't need to write it down, I can remember it. Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream – I've got it, for goodness sake!"
He toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he comes back and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs.
"Where's my toast?"
'
Last word
As I grow older, I regret to say that a detestable habit of thinking seems to be getting a hold of me. - H Rider Haggard
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