Krugerrands
buried in
your garden?
IN HIS latest grumpy newsletter, investment analyst Dr James Greener deplores the international convulsions and confusions and suggests Krugerrands buried in the garden might be a good idea.
"The combination of crashing stock markets, increased rationing of electrical power and utter confusion about the Covid-19 viral infection spreading across the world, have pushed us all into a very different place from where we were just a few weeks ago. "While the gold price has soared, the oil price has plunged and for the first time ever, oil producers need to deliver more than 45 barrels of oil to be able to afford just one measly ounce of gold. .
"The internet chatmeisters are muttering about a tussle over this commodity between Russia and the US. Trump has closed his borders though it's doubtful that the virus worries much about passports and visas.
"No one will have found any shelter from this storm even if the man at the end of the bar is boasting about hedge fund strategies and his stash of Krugerrands. The fact is that all the various metrics that try to capture volatility and unpredictability of day-to-day moves of the various prices and indices this past week have gone off scale. If the prices weren't going down fast they were going up before turning around again.
'This will be a memorable Bear. The sole winners will have been those whose entire hoard is in Krugerrands buried in the garden."
Cheer-up songs
WHICH recalls a cheer-up song from the Great Depression, by the Sherman Brothers.
Although I dropped a hundred thousand dollars in the market, baby
I found a million dollars in your smile
Yes, sir!
Stocks are crashing every day, banks are failing too
But who cares if those skies are grey, long as I have you dear.
Once I was a millionaire on margin
Now I'm singin' in the breadline all the while
Although I dropped a hundred thousand dollars in the market, baby
I found a million dollars in your smile
Yes, sir!
Also (Joseph McCarthy):
I'll have to see my broker,
Find out what he can do,
'Cause I'm in the market for you-oo-oo.
There won't be any joker,
With Margin I'm all through;
'Cause I want you outright it's true ...
Hey, this Bear market could turn out quite fun after all.
This song was originally posted on protestsonglyrics.net
Couch lady
AN ITEM comes this way on the cancellation of sports events worldwide due to the coronavirus.
Day 2 without sports: Found a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently she's my wife. She seems nice.
Where's the fun?
MEANWHILE, reader Sally Stretch says she is mystified by the enthusiasm of the damsels of the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties for shooting out streetlights with catties fashioned from knicker-elastic. (This of course is performed in celebration of a win by the Sharks at rugby – the fellows doing the shooting.)
"Considering that, thanks to Eskom, hardly any streetlights are operational due to loadshedding, where's the fun?"
The fun, Sally, lies in the harvesting of the knicker elastic. But, sadly, Sanzaar have now called off Super Rugby and with it the fun.
Tailpiece
What's the best way to make a small fortune on the stock market?
Start off with a big one.
Last word
What happens when the future has come and gone? - Robert Half
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