BRITISH prime minister Theresa May has now had her Brexit deal defeated twice in the House of Commons. Parliament has voted that "no deal" crash-out Brexit cannot be followed. It has also voted that the March 29 Brexit date should be extended. It also threatens to take over the whole Brexit process from the government.
Theresa May has been lobbying furiously for her deal to be accepted by the House on the principle that, with the margin of defeat dropping every time, eventually she will get it through.
Dutch prime minister Mark Rutte says, rather bemusedly, that it reminds him of the Black Knight scene in the movie, Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
In this, the Black Knight confronts King Arthur at a small footbridge. "I move for no man." A swordfight ensues and Arthur chops of the Knight's left arm. Blood squirts copiously from under the armour.
"'Tis but a scratch," says the Black Knight and fights on with just his right. But Arthur lops that off as well. More squirting blood. Battle over?
King Arthur presumes so and kneels in a prayer of thanks. But the Black Knight kicks him in the head and accuses him of cowardice. The fight continues. Arthur lops off the Knight's left leg.
"I'm invincible!" cries the Black Knight.
"You're a loony," says Arthur.
Then, hopping on his one leg, the Black Knight headbutts Arthur in the stomach. At which Arthur cuts off the remaining leg. Then King Arthur and his page depart, leaving the Black Knight's limbless torso screaming threats after them: "Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to ya! I'll bite your legs off!"
This is a striking analogy. Mark Rutte is obviously a man of great erudition.
The Speaker of the House of Commons has now ruled that Theresa May cannot submit her Brexit deal, as it stands, yet again for a vote as it's already been rejected twice. It would appear she has arrived at the "bite your legs off" stage of her struggle.
What comes next? Who can tell? Perhaps we need to rerun all the old Monty Python sketches to get an idea.
A DRIVER was pulled over by cops in Butler County, Pennsylvania, in the US, for driving erratically, according to Huffington Post.
He told officers he had just dropped off his girlfriend. But they smelled alcohol and breathalysed him. He was more than twice the legal limit.
His name: Daniel Sober. It could be an interesting court case, a defence of conflicting semantics in the charge sheet. It's worth a try.
STUDENTS in an advanced biology class are taking their mid-term exam. The last question is: "Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk." The question is worth 70 marks or none at all.
A student writes:
1. It is the perfect formula for the child.
2. It provides immunity against several diseases.
3. It is always the right temperature.
4. It is inexpensive.
5. It bonds the child to mother and vice-versa.
6. It is always available as needed.
But then he's stuck. Finally, in desperation just before the bell rings for the end of the test, he writes:
7. It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.
He got an A+.
Perhaps in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own.