Here's a
rugby
highlight
THE Paddys versus the Taffys tomorrow – that's the big 'un in the world of rugby. Can Ireland stop Wales getting the Six Nations Grand Slam, this on their home turf at the Principality Stadium with thousands of Welshmen singing their lungs out?
It's a big ask, yet if anyone can stop Wales, it's Ireland. It would mean no Grand Slam this year, leaving England, Ireland and Wales all with a chance to win the competition. Can it get closer than that?
The Six Nations has always been a great competition. We have no need to feel left out because we've got so many of our top players in the northern hemisphere, we're part of it.
Yet now it seems World Rugby is intent on creating a 12-team "League of Nations" competition every year, that would override everything else.
The idea is surely a bummer. We already have too much rugby. Player exhaustion is a growing factor. And what would the future be of existing competitions such as the Six Nations which so retains the atavistic spirit that lies at the heart of rugby? If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
CHRIS and Mike Ferry, of Florida, in the US, wanted to wish their dad (also Chris, 62, living in New Jersey) a resounding happy birthday. So they spent $2000 hiring a highway billboard near Atlantic City that featured a picture of their dad with the words: "Wish My Dad Happy Birthday — Love, Your Sons." Added was his telephone number.
Ferry's phone has been ringing off the hook with calls and, according to Huffington Post, "Every state in the union, Luxembourg, Nepal, Kenya, Philippines ... even that little island in the middle of the Indian Ocean, they tried calling me," says Ferry.
He estimates that he's received more than 15 000 calls and texts so far.
We hope Chris Ferry snr enjoyed his birthday, in spite of having to answer the phone all day.
Tailpiece
THE FBI has an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing there are three finalists, two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents take one of the men to a large metal door and hand him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!"
"You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife."
"Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second candidate is given the same instructions. He takes the gun and goes into the room. All is quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
"You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it's the woman's turn. She's given the same instructions to kill her husband. She takes the gun and goes into the room. Shots are heard,one after another. They hear screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all is quiet. The door opens slowly and there stands the woman. She wipes the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks" she says. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
Moral: Don't mess with the FBI. Especially not with woman agents.
Last word
Go, and never darken my towels again.
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