A movie
waiting to
be made
RACONTEUR Spyker Koekemoer (aka Pat Smythe) wants to know if they're ever going to get the bottom of the VBS bank scandal; arrest the villain who stole millions from what began as the Venda Building Society? Will this scoundrel go to jail?
And in such case will they make a movie called Prisoner of Venda? Heh, heh! This is a joke for the ballies.
In the bantustan days, Pretoria used to send an "ambassador" to Tohoyandu, capital of the sovereignly independent Republic of Venda. He was known as the "Prisoner of Venda" (There's not much doing in Tohoyandu). And this pun was based on a popular movie of the fifties called Prisoner of Zenda, starring Stewart Granger, Deborah Kerr and James Mason
Prisoner of Zenda was based on a novel written in 1894 by Anthony Hope, in which the King of Ruritania is drugged on the eve of his coronation and is unable to attend the ceremony. Political forces within the realm are such that, in order for the king to retain the crown, his coronation must proceed.
Fortuitously, an English gentleman on holiday in Ruritania, who resembles the monarch, is persuaded to act as his political decoy in an effort to save the unstable political situation of the interregnum.
Earlier movies of Prisoner of Zenda were made in 1913 (silent), 1922 and 1937. In 1979 a comedy version starred Peter Sellers and Lynne Frederick.
Then there's Royal Flash, a novel (later also a movie) by George MacDonald Fraser, based loosely on Prisoner of Zenda. In this, Flashman, the smoking, drinking public school cad of Thomas Hughes's Tom Brown's Schooldays, has to act as decoy for a Scandinavian prince. It's a while since I read Royal Flash, but I think the impersonation went as far as the princely bedchamber.
A great source of quality information is Spyker Koekemoer.
WHO noticed that in the Proteas' ODI victory over Sri Lanka just over a week ago, not a single batsman was bowled out? The bails and stumps were disturbed but once, and that was in a run-out. Nor was there a single LBW. All the other dismissals were catches.
How often does this happen?
The Street Shelter for the Over-Forties is not just a place of culture and intellectual discourse, it's also a mine of significant statistics.
INVESTMENT analyst Dr James Greener notes in his latest grumpy newsletter today's escalation in figures.
"Not too long ago a million of anything, especially money, was a great deal.
"Those of us slightly more used to big numbers and scientific terminology could glibly talk about 'k' for thousands, 'bar' for a million and even a 'yard' for a billion. The fun was to watch journalists (and presidents) stumble over getting the terminology right.
"But now in the age of the Guptas, Joostes and government-scale corruption, anything less than a billion is chump change. Although criminals seem not yet able to talk of trillions they are already in use in our GDP and government expenditure records, and of course the three largest shares on the JSE have market cap measured in trillions."
Tailpiece
THIS little old fellow shuffles slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulls himself painfully, up on to a stool. After catching his breath, he orders a banana split.
Waitress (kindly): "Crushed nuts?"
"No, arthritis."
Last word
A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as bad.
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