Sunday, March 10, 2019

The Idler, Monday, March 11, 2019

It's the

spirit of

the Blitz

CRUNCH time for Brexit this week. Will Theresa May somehow reverse the staggering defeat her deal with the EU suffered in the House of Commons the first time round? What's happened to change things?

Would defeat mean a cliff-edge crash-out on March 29. Or – more likely – will parliament intervene to push forward the deadline. Theresa May herself warns that Brexit might not even happen.

People are stockpiling food. Not just householders but the large food chains as well. Cold storage depots are stacked to the ceiling.

A spirit of the Blitz is abroad. And the wondcr is that this time it's entirely self-inflicted.

Has British statecraft ever been in such a shambles? Probably not since the days of King Ethelred the Unready. The pun is based on the Saxon noun "unraed", which means "evil counsel", "bad plan" or "folly".

 

 

SAY not the struggle naught availeth … the Sharks looked dead in the water against the Bulls at halftime on Saturday. Yet they turned in a creditable second half and were even in with a sniff at one stage, in spite of that nightmarish first half in which they conceded a string of goalable penalties.

Okay, the Bulls wrapped it up in the end with a scorcher of a try. But for the Sharks it meant mere defeat as against annihilation.

In the Six Nations, Wales are still on course for a Grand Slam if they can beat Ireland at home next Sunday – which happens to be St Patrick's Day.

If they don't get the Grand Slam (which means winning all five matches), England and Ireland are still in with a chance to win the competition.

How close can you get?

 

 

NEWS from the snowbound wastes of the US. An Oregon man and his dog survived for five days trapped in the snow in an SUV, eating sachets of fiery taco sauce and nothing else.

Jeremy Taylor and his dog, Ally, were offroading in Deschutes County when they became stuck in a deep snowdrift, according to Huffington Post.

Jeremy started the vehicle at intervals to keep warm and found the taco sauce packets in the cubby hole. Eventually a kid on a snowmobile spotted them and raised the alarm with the county sheriff's office, who organised a rescue.

Taco sauce for five days and nothing else - one imagines Jeremy has had enough of the stuff for a while. But the manufacturers heard of the incident and are so thrilled by this endorsement of their product that they've promised Jeremy a year's free supply.

I suppose Ally can always hide under the house when the delivery van arrives.

Tailpiece

THIS fellow gets chatting to a dog in a pet shop. A talking dog? He buys him on the turn and heads for the pub.

"I bet anyone here R50 this dog talk can talk."

Several people take him up. But the dog stays schtum. The fellow has to pay up.

As they get outside, the dog starts chatting away again.

"What's wrong with you? Now you start talking."

"Felt a bit shy, man."

"Shy? Now I'm shy of 400 bucks. Make sure you talk tomorrow!"

"You bet."

The following evening it's the same bet, the stakes doubled. The dog stays schtum.

"What is it with you? That's twice now."

"Wise up, man. Think of the odds we'll get tomorrow."

 

Last word

 

I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones.

John Cage

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