Well worthy
of Marvell
Comics
AT KINGS Park last Saturday the swallows were flying low. They were flitting across the field at high speed, skimming the grass as they went, dodging without effort any human who got in the way. Wonderful to watch. What were they feeding on? Were flying ants emerging in the muggy evening atmosphere?
White ants! That's the only way to explain a game whose structure seemed to crumble from the start. From that fourth-minute booby interception that followed a Sharks backline manoeuvre of long passing while standing still, it seemed nobody (both sides) was really serious.
Oh dear, life's full of disappointments. Let us console ourselves by saying this was a Marvell Comics fixture between the Black Panthers and Thor, not Sharks versus Stormers.
In the Duikers' afterwards there was speculation that film of the game could at least be put to good use by the courts of the land sentencing those guilty of looting, plunder and state capture to watching the game again and again and again. Let the punishment fit the crime.
Then, later, sheer bedlam outside the ground as Kings Park spectators merged with Moses Mabhida spectators who had been watching Kaizer Chiefs against Highlands Park. The pavements jammed with people, gridlock on the roads, absolute chaos.
What lunacy in town planning it was to build a major football stadium alongside a major rugby stadium. Is it too late to punish those responsible for the decision? Repeat viewing of Black Panthers versus Thor seems appropriate.
PEOPLE sometimes get irritated with their lawyers. In Cleveland, Ohio, in the US, this fellow was so peeved with his that he punched him right there in the courtroom, laying him out cold.
Okay, David Chislton had just been sentenced to 47 years in prison on almost two dozen charges including assaulting his girlfriend and setting fire to an apartment block, according to Huffington Post. He was upset.
But you can't punch your lawyer, not there in court. And it was quite a punch. Lawyer Aaron Brockley fetched up under a table.
Now the prosecution have filed an additional charge of assault. Will Chislton get his half-century in the jug? Obviously Brockley can no longer defend him.
They say there's a stampede of lawyers in Cleveland, Ohio, wanting to take on this epic brief.
BURGLARY is bad enough but burglary by a gorrilla is intolerable. In the town of Sulphur, in Louisiana, in the US, the cops got tipped off that a gorrilla was behaving suspiciously, according to Associated Press. It was walking through people's backyards and peering through windows.
It turned out to be a fellow in a gorrilla suit and he was indeed up to no good. When the cops got there, he ran into a house. They found him hiding under a mattress.
Now he's in the lock-up facing charges of unauthorised entry, meth possession and wearing a mask. In Louisiana it's illegal to wear a mask except at Halloween or Mardi Gras.
Sulphur is an unusual place name. I wonder what their clean air regulations are like.
Tailpiece
PATIENT to doctor: "You gotta help me, Doc. I'm under a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people and insulting them. You gotta help me."
"Tell me about your problem."
"I just did, you stupid bastard!"
Last word
The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
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