Thursday, February 28, 2019

The Idler, Friday, March 1, 2019

Let's make

it three in

a row!

"WHEN he heareth the trumpet, he saith ha,ha, he smelleth the battle afar off, the encouraging of the captains, and the shouting of the army …"

This description of the biblical horse in the Book of Job more or less coincides with the sentiments of rugby fans in anticipation of tomorrow's clash at Kings Park.

It's Black Panthers versus Thor, if you're in the Superheroes mode of thought; Natal versus Western Province if you're a diehard traditionalist; and Sharks versus Stormers if you're in the Super Rugby mould.

Whatever, this should be a humdinger. The Sharks have shown flashes of brilliance and adventure mingled with consistency in the two opening matches. So far unbeaten. Will this continue? Control of the basics, breaking out when there's a chance. A great season could lie ahead.

The Stormers have been up and down like a yo-yo. They'll be desperate to get it right this time.

Mercifully, this time it's a 5pm game as things are beginning to cool down. A great spectacle surely lies ahead.

See you in the Duikers afterwards! 'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!

 

ARCHAEOLOGISTS from Newcastle University, in England, are studying rock engravings in an ancient Roman quarry in the Forest of Gelt, in Cumbria, according to Sky News.

They were made by Roman soldiers quarrying rock in 207 AD for repairs to Hadrian's Wall, which was built to keep out Scottish barbarians from this northern outpost of the Roman Empire.

Soldiers will always be soldiers. One of the engravings discovered so far is of a phallus. Another is an unflattering caricature of the soldiers' commanding officer. (The two engravings are apparently not conjoined).

Also engraved are the words: "Publius Aelius Hadrianus est hic." This doesn't mean "Hadrian has hiccups after ale in the pub", it simply means Publius Aelius Hadrian is here."

But those archaeologists must persevere. They might find the original engraving of the famous exhortation that has survived from Roman times right up to the present: "Nihil illegitimae carborandum est – Don't let the bastards grind you down!"

 

A FAT rat had to be rescued by firefighters when it got trapped trying to climb through a manhole cover in Bensheim, Germany.

An animal rescue group came to its assistance but the rat was firmly wedged, according to Huffington Post, and firefighters had to be called in to remove the manhole cover.

People might have an aversion to rats, the animal rescue folk explained, but there were occasions when there was nevertheless a moral duty to assist an animal that was in trouble.

They posted the incident on social media and the thing went viral. It might have been an overweight rat but it also was kind of cute. (Actually it reminded me of someone, though this is no time to get into politics).

Removal of the manhole cover did the trick and the fat rat was released … not to the wild exactly but to the sewer.

Yes, there's something decidedly odd about this whole thing.

A PSYCHIATRIST shows a patient a series of ink blots.

"What does this remind you of?"

"A naked lady in a bath."

And this?"

"It's a girl taking off her bra."

"And this?"

"A huge pair of boobs."

The psychiatrist sighs. "I'm afraid you're a sex maniac."

"Me a sex maniac? I like that! Who's showing the dirty pictures?"

Last word

The grass is always greener once you don't have to mow a lawn anymore.

Randy K Milholland

No comments:

Post a Comment