Preview
of the
World Cup?
WHAT was this absorbing spectacle on our TV screens? Rugby? The game played with an oval ball? We'd almost forgotten it existed, it's been so long.
And, oh boy, was this spectacle! England versus Ireland in the Six Nations was an enthralling display of close to faultless rugby on either side – handling, running the lines, great tackling, off-loading, magnificent forward play. Perfectly matched, it seemed a pity one side had to lose – and that happened to be Ireland.
One could see either as a finalist in the approaching World Cup.
Then Wales coming from behind in tremendous fashion against France, Scotland socking it to Italy. One senses a rugby resurgence in the northern hemisphere.
We hope the Marvel Comics Superheroes theme of our local Super Rugby outfits this year – Spiderman, Thor, Black Panther, Captain America – does not reflect a lack of seriousness as to the task ahead for our rugby.
At least nobody chose Katzenjammer Kids. Maybe Popeye will come to the rescue.
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "My wife's very immature. Whenever I take a bath she comes in and sinks all my little boats."
IN HIS latest grumpy newsletter, investment analyst Dr James Greener addresses government spending and budgetary controls.
"In December, our government spent R143 billion rand. This is a mere R1bn more than in December 2017 and might be taken as a sign of expenditure control.
"During calendar 2018, however, our leaders whistled through almost R1 500bn, which is R200bn more than SARS managed to collect from the battered taxpayers. To fill this shortfall National Treasury needs to borrow and amazingly they are managing to convince the lenders (most of whom are also the aforementioned taxpayers) to pay ever-increasing prices for government bonds."
Greener says the banks themselves were very professional in not refuting the claim by the SABC that they all simultaneously suffered identical "glitches" and failed to pay the broadcaster's January salaries.
"Those with inside knowledge, however, were adamant that the glitch was simply that there was no money to do so. Presumably National Treasury had to call their bank to make an instant EFT payment courtesy of the taxpayers.
"Allegedly many other state-owned enterprises will also soon have to explain to staff that the cash box is empty. Emptied by lax controls and clueless budgeting practices."
NEWS from Mexico. The government has conducted an in-depth survey into the average Mexican's response to President Trump's fulminations about illegal incursions by rapists, murderers and drug dealers, and the need for his proposed Great Wall of Mexico to keep them out.
Having analysed the responses, the Mexican government has issued a statement: "The people of Mexico say they are puzzled and hurt by President Trump's insistence on a border wall to keep them out. But they'll get over it."
Tailpiece
AN ENGINEER, a systems analyst and a programmer are driving down a mountain road when the brakes fail. More by good luck than anything else, they come to a halt as the gradient flattens temporarily, just on the edge of a dizzying drop to jagged rocks.
The engineer says: "I think I can fix it." The systems analyst says: "I think we should have a specialist look at it." The programmer says: "Let's first get back in and see if it does it again."
Last word
No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have, and I think he's a dirty little beast. - WS Gilbert
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