Only
here for
the beer
ARCHAEOLOGISTS in England have made an "incredibly exciting" discovery of a brewing process dating back to about 400 BC.
It's in Cambridgeshire, where roadworks have unearthed traces of what is believed to be the first beer brewed in Britain. The team say tiny fragments of charred residue from the beer-making process were found in excavated earth, according to Sky News.
How they arrive at these conclusions is not explained. But the conclusions do raise questions that have always puzzled me. What is it about these ancient brewing technologies that produces such a lively end product?
In days of yore I toiled in the English county of Essex. In the town of Barking, on the Thames estuary, was a magnificent, ancient pub called The Britannia. The entrance was surmounted by a brightly painted sailing ship's figurehead – the genuine article – this being of a plentifully endowed lady. The vulgar of the town – about 99% of the population - referred to the place as "The Tits".
But this is slightly beside the point. The Britannia – or Tits, if you prefer – served an ancient beer that preceded all the modern regulations and went to only a handful of pubs in and around London.
It was powerful stuff. It had extraordinary qualities. To the great irritation of the cops, old age pensioners would come in after drawing their weekly due, then get absolutely out of hand, dancing a jig and punching each others' heads after half a pint.
And it wasn't only the pensioners. One evening there, a colleague – a fellow usually of great self-restrain t and conservative demeanour - proposed marriage to a gorgeous girl of the most voluptuous dimensions. But he was standing outside and addressing the figurehead. What was the cause? The beer? The beauty of the figurehead? Or a combination of the two?
Yes, ancient brewing techniques, possibly going back to 400 BC. May they long survive. None of this modernism.
OF COURSE, we too have a Britannia here in Durban, a marvellous place near the Connaught Bridge on the Umgeni, famous for its curries and bunnychows. I wonder if it has any connection with the one in Essex?
Having frequented both, I can say Durban's Britannia is far more decorous in the behaviour of patrons. But then the local one probably doesn't get beer brewed to that magical 400 BC formula.
It was discovered at the Calbee potato crisp-making factory in the eastern Sai Kung district and safely detonated on site by bomb disposal officers.
It's believed to have been dug up accidentally with potatoes planted in a field in France before being exported.
Imagine if it had somehow gone off. Many a packet of potato powder.
Tailpiece
THEY'RE driving down a country road in dead silence. There's been a disagreement that degenerated into a fierce argument. Neither will give way. They pass a farmyard of mules and pigs.
She: "Relatives of yours?"
He: "Yep. In-laws."
Last word
A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
No comments:
Post a Comment