Brexit – the
soap opera
hits some jolts
IT'S the "Croaky Horror Show". The headline in Fleet Street's Sun newspaper was unkind yet it captured the moment as Britain's Prime Minister Theresa May, suffering a terrible bout of laryngitis, expressed her disappointment at parliament's voting down for the second time her Brexit deal with the EU.
She croaked on to table yesterday's free vote on whether "no deal" Brexit should be removed as an option; also on today's vote as to whether Article 50 should be revoked – meaning no Brexit – or extended beyond March 29 so that a deal acceptable to both the House of Commons and the EU can be achieved.
It was sad and pitiful. Theresa May had been of the "Remain" faction of the Tory party, yet wholeheartedly embraced and clung grimly to her new (and unsought) position, determined not to split the party – yet in the end it was the hard Brexiteers who led the rebellion voting against her.
It was somehow a fitting finale to a phase of astonishing ineptitude in British statecraft where a referendum was called without any plan being in place to execute its fulfilment, and without apparent recognition of such issues as the Northern Ireland border and the Good Friday Agreement. It leaves Britain (and its trading partners) drifting, the future cohesion of the United Kingdom in question (Northern Ireland and Scotland voted against Brexit).
Did I say finale? It ain't over yet.
MORE from the snowy northern wastes of America. Police in Minnesota received a call to say a probably deranged figure was standing at the roadside knee-deep in the snow, without a coat and clutching a pillow.
According to Sky News, the cops followed directional instructions and found … a cardboard cut-out of a fellow clutching a pillow. It was advertising a locally manufactured brand of pillow.
But Baby, it's cold out there …
AUTRALIAN paraglider Jonathan Bishop had made a two-hour cross-country flight. But as he came down in a near-perfect landing in Namadgi National Park, outside Canberra, a kangaroo came bounding up.
"As it ran towards me I thought it was being friendly, says Bishop. "So I said: 'What's up, Skip?'"
But, according to Huffington Post, it was anything but friendly. The 'roo ran right up to him, adopted a boxer's stance and began sparring with him as he disengaged from his paragliding harness.
Bishop had no option but to spar back, at which the 'roo thought better of it and retreated. But what does Bishop expect? No kangaroo will take kindly to his territory being invaded by a giant flying fox – the world's biggest bat, found in Australia.
Tailpiece
INTO a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he's just been run
over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is
cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
" Jamie O'Connor an' me had a foight.".
"Dat little shrimp, O'Connor? He couldn't do dat to you. He
must've had someting in his hand."
"Dat he did. A shovel is what he had. And a terrible
lickin' he gave me wit it."
"You should've defended yourself. Didn't yez have
someting in your own hand?"
"Dat I did. Mrs. O'Connor's breast, and a ting of beauty
it is, but not much use in a foight."
Last word
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
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