Saturday, February 28, 2015

The Idler, Thursday, February 26, 2015

Manie's party trick

THE stories keep rolling in about Manie Blom, the famous banana 

man who used to run on at King's Park before an inter- provincial 

rugby match.

Manie was barman at the Stamford Hill Hotel, just across the road 

from the ground. A reader, who calls himself "Errol", recalls a party 

trick he used to perform in the bar in return for a cash collection.

Manie would place a beer glass on the bar counter and fill it with a 

pint of beer.

Then he would bend over and put his entire mouth over the glass.

Then he would straighten, tilt his head, open his throat and let the 

entire pint go down his gullet – glugl glug, glug!

Then he'd bend over again and place the empty glass back on the 

counter, not a drop spilled.

"It was the most amazing trick I ever saw," says Errol. "I never 

knew anyone else who could get his mouth over a beer glass like 

that. I saw him do it time after time."

He says Manie always drank Lion Ale. Natch – "The beer Natal 

made famous!"

Nostalgia

MEANWHILE, Barabara Lane, of Winklespruit, also expresses 

nostalgia for those days.

"I remember the 'Push-up Boys' who used to do just that: do the 

total points in push-ups every time we scored. I felt so sorry for 

them when the score rose to 30 or 40.

"Then there was the gentleman who would emerge from the

tunnel with his dog just before the match, and they would run 

round the entire field to great applause from the spectators. 

"And who will forget our 'Banana Boys'?"

Good news, Barbara. The Push-up Boys are back and they were 

working overtime last Saturday.

I'm afraid I don't remember the gentleman running about with his 

dog (Unless it was myself and my Airedale terrier, who was always 

on offer to the selectors because of her uncanny ability to bury the 

ball in a tight spot).

Maybe the Push-up Boys can be persuaded to emulate Manie 

Blom's party trick. That would be quite something in a 30-pointer.

Place kicks

MEANWHILE, more on round-the-corner place kicking, with the 

instep instead of the toe. Peter Harris, of Ballito, says it couldn't 

have been copied by our own Toffee Sharp from French fly-half 

Guy Camberabero, who toured South Africa in 1967.

"Toffee was kicking like that at school in 1963. I think he's the one 

who started it."

This is an interesting question. Did the rugby place-kicking style 

that is now used around the world at every level really start 

at Maritzburg College? Or was it some sort of spontaneous 

evolutionary thing that developed simultaneously in every rugby-
playing country?

If the former, Toffee Sharp was not as radical as William Webb-
Ellis but he's still had a profound impact on the game.

Dialogue

OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties:

"You feel like a bit of slap and tickle?"

"Your place or mine?"

"Well if you're going to argue, forget it!"

Going to pot

ALASKA has become the third American state to legalise smoking, growing and 

owning small amounts of marijuana. The others are Washington (not the same thing 

as Washington DC) and Colorado.

Marijuana is, of course, what we call dagga.

Anyone aged 21 or older can now possess up to an ounce of marijuana in Alaska and 

can grow up to six marijuana plants, three of which can be flowering.

I'd have thought Alaska, with its permafrost, would be rather inhospitable to 

marijuana. Maybe they've developed hothouse igloos.

Mush! Mush! A zol, ek se. Dog-sledding can never be the same again.

Tailpiece

FIVE Germans are in an Audi Quattro at the Italian border. The 

Italian Iimmigration officer says: "It'sa illegala to putta da five 

people in a Quattro."

"Vot you mean illegal?".

"Quattro meana four."

"Quattro is ze name of ze automobile, you fool! Look at ze damn 

papers: Ze car is designed to carry five." 

"You canta pulla dat-a one on me! Quattro meana four. You gotta 

da five. You breaka da law!" 

 "Dumkopf! You call your supervisor over. I vant to speak to 

somevun viz more intelligence!"

"Sorry. He can'ta come. He a-busy with two guys in a Fiat Uno."

Last word

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised 

at how little you have. 

Ernest Haskins

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