These ferocious limpets
HAVE you ever been bitten by a limpet? No, me neither. But actually they have
the strongest teeth in the world and they use them to cling on to the rocks the
way they do.
That's according to scientists in Britain, who have been researching these things.
Researchers at the University of Portsmouth say the limpet's teeth contain a
substance called goethite, which is stronger than spider's silk, which until now
had been thought the strongest substance produced in nature.
They say the atomic structure of goethite can be analysed and mimicked to
artificially produce super-strong material for use in Formula One cars, the hulls of
boats and aircraft fuselages.
Whatever next? Who would have suspected a limpet to have the strongest teeth
in the world? I can't remember one so much as snarling at me.
Humility
DISCOVERIES such as the above are inevitably reported as properties to be
found in the "humble" limpet.
But who says limpets are humble? They're uncommunicative, to be sure, but they
might, as they cling there to the rocks with their super-strong teeth, be egotistical,
swaggering self-opinionated little bastards.
"Hey, I've got goethite, I've got the world's strongest teeth. Step aside, buster!
I'm gonna be the prototype for F-1! I'm gonna set up the world water speed
record! I'm gonna be the next super jet! Hey, it's me, me, me!"
Let us not be over-hasty about the attributes of limpets.
Sunrise
THEY do drink a lot of vodka in Russia but when three suns appeared over the
horizon the other morning, it was something out of the ordinary.
It happened at the city of Chelyabinsk, and pretty soon photos of the phenomenon
were appearing on social media.
According to meteorologists, the "halo" effect was caused by ice crystals in the air
refracting the sunlight. The crystals, which are invisible to the naked eye, were the
product of a particularly chilly morning, with temperatures around -25C.
Chelyabinsk blues
THEY'RE getting accustomed to these strange phenomena in Chelyabinsk. A few
days earlier, the streets were covered in blue-tinged snow.
It turned out that a local factory had been making Easter eggs. It had a spill of its
decorative blue powdered dye, some of which escaped into the atmosphere and
blended with the snow.
A blues singer could surely make something of this. "Woke up this mornin'..."
Pointlessness
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "Non-
alcoholic beer is like a hooker who just wants to cuddle."
Mystery haze
SCIENTISTS are puzzled by a mysterious haze that has shown itself high above
Mars. The vast plume was initially spotted in 2012, and appeared twice before
vanishing.
Now it's back again, stretching more than 1 000km. Scientists say it could be a large
cloud or an exceptionally bright aurora. However they are unsure how these could
have formed in the thin upper reaches of the Martian atmosphere.
I sincerely hope this is not another hoax. Or could it be that Nasa and the rest have
now become victim of their own tomfoolery?
For years now they have been putting out images of arid, flinty, leafless landscapes,
claiming they're the surface of Mars, when anyone can see it's the Griquas rugby
field at Kimberley.
A mysterious haze stretching 1 000km ... they do have braais at the Griquas rugby
field, you know.
Tailpiece
IT'S a bitterly cold winter's morning in Dublin. A
couple listen to the radio over breakfast.
Says the announcer: "We are going to have eight
to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your
car on the even-numbered side of the street, so
the snowploughs can get through. "
The wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later the radio announcer says: "We are
expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must
park your car on the odd-numbered side of the
street, so the snow ploughs can get through."
She goes out and moves her car again.
The following week the announcer says: "We are
expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must
park ..."
Then the electric power cuts off.
"Now I don't know what to do. Which side of de
street do I need to park so de snowploughs can get
through?"
"For pity's sake, m'dear, just leave de car in de
garage dis time."
Last word
I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
Carl Sandburg
No comments:
Post a Comment