A sabbatical is in order
IRAN'S foreign minister has been told to cheer up when taking part
in international negotiations on the country's nuclear programme.
Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif has been told by none
other than Ayatollah Ali Khamenei not to rant and rave during the
talks but make his point with a smile.
Apparently things got so heated during previous meetings that it
had the bodyguards peering nervously round the door.
The answer obviously is for Mohammad Javad Zarif to take a
sabbatical at Nkandla. A few weeks in the company of JZ would
have him so giggling and chortling over the issues of uranium
enrichment and nuclear weaponry that the talks would run to the
smoothest of conclusions.
Alertness test
FOR older readers, here is the annual mental alertness
test. Exercising of the brain is as important as the
exercising of muscles. You use it or lose it.
Younger readers may pass on to the next item if they
wish.
• What do you put in a toaster?
Answer – bread. If you said "toast", just give up
now and go do something else and try not to hurt
yourself. If you did say "bread", proceed to the next
question.
• Say "silk"" five times. Now spell "silk." What do
cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't
attempt the next question.Your brain is already over-
stressed and may even overheat. However, if you did
say "water" proceed to the next question..
* If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue
house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is
made from pink bricks and a black house is made
from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer:Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said
"green bricks", why are you still reading this? Please go
and lie down. But if you said "'glass," go on to the next
question.
* Do not use a calculator for this: You are driving
a bus from New York City to Philadelphia . In Staten
Island, 17 people get on the bus. In New Brunswick,
six people get off the bus and nine get on. In Windsor,
two people get off and four get on. In Trenton, 11 people
get off and 16 get on. In Bristol, three people get off
and five people get on. And in Camden , six people get
off and three get on.
You then arrive at Philadelphia Station.
Without going back to review, how old is the bus driver?
Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your
own age? It was YOU driving the bus!
Now where were we ...?
Kicks
LAST week we discussed the origins of the "round-the-corner"
place-kicking style that has taken over in rugby world-wide, which
seems to have had its origins in South Africa in the 1960s at
Maritzburg College.
But reader Graham Rogers says he recalls that when the French
toured in the sixties they had a kicker who kicked "soccer
style", and at the time it was unique. He thinks his name was
Camberebero.
Interesting. Maybe that's where Butch James got the idea.
Meanwhile, it seems I was wrong when I described Gerald Bosch
as one of the last toe-of-the- boot place kickers. Correspondent
Barrie (with an "ie") says he was in regular contact with Gerald at
the time and he used to rag him about his round-the-corner style.
I must have been thinking about Okey Geffin and Bennie Osler.
Arrest warrant
THE COPS down in ol' Kentucky have issued a warrant
for the arrest of Queen Elsa, leading character in the Walt
Disney animation, Frozen.
The snow is standing a foot (30cm) deep in the small rural
town of Harlan, and the weatherman says there's more to
come.
Obviously Queen Elsa is to blame, which is why the local cops
have issued the warrant on their Facebook page: "Suspect is a
blonde female last seen wearing a long blue dress and known to
burst into song, Let It Go!"
With the crime these days, it's also high time they arrested Ali
Baba And The Forty Thieves.
Tailpiece
THIS fellow escapes from prison and makes his way home.
Wife: "Where have you been? You escaped eight hours ago."
Last word
Intimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper
from the state.
Kathleen Norris
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