Thursday, February 19, 2015

The Idler, Thursday December 18, 2014

High fives all round!

THE high five has become a feature of modern life – on the cricket field, on the 

football field, on the rugby field – wherever. Anything happens – in rugby even if 

you manage to wheel a scrum - and it's high fives.

Now a wingsuit flyer has brought a new dimension to the gesture. Australian 

base jumper Nathan Jones leaped off a cliff high above the French ski resort of 

Chamonix. He skimmed past rocky outcrops and trees then – just metres from 

the ground – flew through a giant model hand held aloft by a member of his team.

Then he got altitude again as the slope fell away – tree height – opened his 

parachute and landed safely in a field in the valley below.

An astonishing feat and – by great coincidence – not dissimilar to the 

manoeuvrings of a young lady who emerged from a cake only the other day at 

a festive season luncheon held at the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties by our 

philosophy discussion group.

It was not so much a wingsuit dive as perhaps a birthday suit dive, but 

spectacular nevertheless and much appreciated by all punters present.

High fives all round!

Lead on

A LINE attributed to American wit Dorothy Parker - asked on a 

game show to make a sentence containing the word "horticulture", 

she said: "You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her 

think."

Just relax

VOCATIONAL speaker and occasional poet Sarita Marthur shares 

with us her latest composition, titled Enjoy The Coffee

Lazily the cloud floated away,

As if it wanted to have its say.

'Just slow down', it said with a smile,

With friends, go the extra mile.

Instead of living kife in the fast track -

Your days just too packed .

Then, you won't have time to enjoy life sublime.

Enjoy the cup of coffee -

With family, go the extra mile.

You write JL.T and JGD and GM, then lots of lines .

Just pick up the phone and in chatting, spend time.

Slow down and enjoy life -

Reflect with a cup of coffee .

Have a good time.

Jeff Guy

THE academic world is the poorer for the passing of historian Jeff 

Guy, who died suddenly at Heathrow Airport, London, while on his 

way home from a visit to his sister in England.

Jeff, a somewhat gruff, no-nonsense character with a strong sense 

of right and wrong, devoted his career to research on early Natal 

and Zululand, producing some definitive books that rigorously 

sorted fact from myth and interpreted it in a way that sheds much 

light on our position today in KwaZulu-Natal.

The Destruction of the Zulu Kingdom: The Civil War 1879-1884 

stands in particular as a close and critical dissection of 19th

colonial policy that cannot be ignored; a policy whose effects we 

still feel today, particularly in the traditionally ordered sector.

Jeff was fascinated by the colonial administrator, Sir Theophilus 

Shepstone, and his most recent book was on him: Theophilus 

Shepstone and the Forging of Natal: African Autonomy and Settler 

Colonialism in the Making of Traditional Authority. And if that 

sounds rather a mouthful, it's something that still hasn't been 

resolved, what with JZ now giving the amakhosi (chiefs) additional 

powers.

Jeff was from a prominent South Coast family, deeply rooted in 

KwaZulu-Natal. His analysis of what brought us to where we are is 

not just invaluable, it will endure.

Tailpiece

THIS couple walk regularly on the beach. Every day a girl is there 

with a travel bag. She approaches people lying on the beach. 

Sometimes money changes hands and she gives them something 

from her bag.

What could this be? Drugs? They're consumed by curiosity. They 

decide he should stake it out next day – lie on the beach and see if 

the girl approaches him.

He does that. He spreads his towel and lies there listening to his 

radio. Sure enough, she makes her approach.

Back home he says: "I've got her secret."

"What is it?"

"She's a battery salesgirl."

"Batteries?"

"Yes. She sells C Cells on the seashore."

Last word

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom 

consists of not exceeding the limit. 

Elbert Hubbard

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