The Christmas spirit
A HUNDRED years ago tonight, thousands of British and German troops climbed
out of their trenches on the Western Front of World War 1, sang carols, shook hands,
exchanged food, tobacco and alcohol and swapped souvenirs – badges, buttons and
headgear. The artillery fell silent.
They also played a bit of football together in nomansland. It was perfectly
spontaneous, a welling up of the Christmas spirit – peace and goodwill to all men.
It was absolutely unauthorised and caused consternation among the high command on
both sides. This was no way to wage war.
But World War I re-asserted itself, becoming the greatest mechanised slaughter in
history, leading on to World War II, 21 years later, and the atom bomb. This was
followed by the Cold War and all kinds of little proxy wars all over. Then the deadly
imbroglio of today's Middle East; the tense standoff in the Ukraine.
Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago?
Oh, for another upwelling of the spirit of Christmas, as in 1914.
Christmas in space
Astronauts on the International Space Station have used their 3-D printer to make
a wrench from instructions sent up in an e-mail. It is the first time hardware has
been "e-mailed" to space.
Nasa was responding to a request by ISS commander Barry Wilmore for a ratcheting
socket wrench.
Previously, if astronauts requested a specific item they could have waited months for
it to be flown up on one of the regular supply flights.
Mike Chen, founder of Made In Space, the company behind the 3-D printer,
said: "We had overheard ISS Commander Barry Wilmore mention over the radio
that he needed one, so we designed one in CAD and sent it up to him faster than a
rocket ever could have. "The socket wrench we just manufactured is the first object
we designed on the ground and sent digitally to space, on the fly. "
It's not clear from all this just what material the socket wrench was made of. But it
seems to work.
Christmas Eve request: "Houston – could you e-mail a bottle opener?"
PC card
A CHRISTMAS card arrives:
"I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, but it is difficult
in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone.
So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on his advice I wish to say the
following:
"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an
environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive,
gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday practised with the
most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your
choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practise religious or secular traditions at all.
"I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar
year 2015, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our civilisation
great (not to imply that ours is necessarily greater than any other) and without
regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual
preference of the wishee .
"By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
"This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
"It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
"It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes
for her/him or others, is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the
sole discretion of the wisher.
"The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of
good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher.
"Best Regards (without prejudice)
"Name withheld (Privacy Act)."
In other words, Happy Christmas!
Tailpiece
IF THERE are three Santas on your roof, how do you know which is Van der Merwe?
He's the one with the Easter eggs.
Last word
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old
man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveller back to his own fireside and quiet home!
Charles Dickens
No comments:
Post a Comment