Drones over Paris
THE French authorities are perplexed by the sighting of mystery drones in the
sky over Paris at night. One was spotted above the US embassy, others near the
Eiffel Tower and the Place de la Concorde.
There have been other reports in recent weeks. One drone was seen over the
presidential palace not too long ago. The authorities have so far been unable to
trace who the operators are. In the light of the Charlie Hebdo incident, it is most
worrying.
Clearly, this is a case for Hercule Poirot, the famous Belgian detective. In fact
he has already been engaged. Through close contacts I have with the French
Surete, I am able to relay Poirot's preliminary report.
"Monsieurs,
"In zis report preliminaire I am able to inform you zat the city of Paris indeed
faces a most sinister plot revolutionaire.
"Ze drones are coming from across ze Channel Anglais. Zey come from a
localitee in Londres, known as ze Drones Club.
"Ze Drones Club is inhabitee by dangereux revolutionaires led by un homme le
nom Bertie Wooster. Wooster 'as accomplicees Gussie Fink-Nottle, Catsmeat
Potter-Pirbright, Bingo Little and pSmith. Ze revolutionaire pSmith is dangereux
particulaire.
"Ze Drones Club is estable by philosophe revolutionaire PG Wodehouse wiz aim
to reverte ze world to le systeme feudale. Wooster 'as support intellectuale from
ze butler compradoriste, Jeeves.
"Ze threat of ze Drones is real, Monsieurs . Call out ze Gendarmerie!"
Rugby weekend
A HECTIC weekend of rugby lies ahead. Sharks versus Bulls and, in the Six
Nations, England versus Ireland.
England and Ireland are both of them strong contenders to win the World Cup
later in the year. Yet at Loftus we'll be watching so many contenders for the Bok
squad, it gets bewildering.
Lambie against Pollard will be interesting.
Bring it on, bring it on!
Ages of man
READER Laurie Kaplan is a wine connoisseur. He sends in a formulation that
links four of our well-known quality wines to what he calls "The four ages of man".
Here goes: 15 to 30 years old – Kanonkop; 31 to 50 – Meerlust; 51 to 60 – Rust
en Vrede; 61 plus – Allesverloren.
Gesondheit!
MURPHY is a great philosopher. Here are some of his lesser-known laws:
• Light travels faster than sound. Therefore some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
• A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing
well.
• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
• A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who
don't.
• Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
• The 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of
getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll
get it wrong.
• It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-
to-end, someone from Joburg would be stupid enough
to try to pass them.
• If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
• The things that come to those who wait, may be the
things left by those who got there first.
• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man
to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
• Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
• God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in
the dark.
• When you go into court, you're putting yourself in the
hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out
of jury duty.
Tailpiece
SHE'S looking especially sexy and seductive.
"Have you ever seen R100 all crumpled up?"
"Show me."
She undoes the top four buttons of her blouse, slowly reaches down into the cleavage, pulls out a
crumpled R100 note and hands it to him.
"Have you ever seen R200 all crumpled up?"
"Show me."
She gives a another sexy little smile, pulls up her skirt and reaches into her panties to pull out a
crumpled R200 note.
He takes it from her. What now?
"Have you ever seen R300 000 all crumpled up?"
"No.""
"Check the garage."
Last word
Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on
the joke of the century.
Dame Edna Everage
No comments:
Post a Comment