The Idler, Friday, February 20, 2015

Here we go again

ONCE more unto the breach, dear friends ... do we get the chestnuts out of the fire 

tomorrow? The astonishing thing about last weekend's opening matches of the Super 

15 is that almost all the wins chalked up were away wins – which of course means 

home losses, ours included..

Maybe it was some strange international jinx that had our fellows dropping passes 

and spilling the ball in the tackle the way they did. Or trying to break out of our 22, 

alone and unsupported. Maybe the jinx has lifted. Maybe Gary Gold has pep-talked 

them sufficiently. They obviously have the skills, which showed sporadically.

We faithful will be there, even at the ridiculous kick-off time of 7pm. May they put on 

the kind of display we know they can. Sterkte! This time we'll put it together properly. 

And with Patrick Lambie kicking like a metronome – one of the few bright spots – the 

points must surely flow.

Speaking of which, I'm in receipt of a letter from retired headmaster Tom Lambert, 

who wants to know who was the first player to use the "round-the-corner" kick, using 

the instep for place kicks instead of the toe of the boot?

He thinks it was winger Toffee Sharp at Maritzburg College, encouraged by that 

visionary coach, Skonk Nicholson.

I think he's right. I remember being astounded, watching a schools match in the 60s, 

at the outlandish way Sharp kicked – and at his success rate.

Until then, everyone – including internationals like the great Keith Oxlee and Gerald 

Bosch – kicked with the toe of the boot. But now everyone is round-the-corner, at 

every level everywhere in the world.

Tom has spoken to Toffee about it on the bowling green. Toffee says he once played 

for Natal Under 20 as curtain-raiser to a Test in Bloemfontein. When he lined up for 

a penalty, the crowd roared with laughter and those in the section of the crowd he 

seemed to be aiming for ducked derisively.

He said to himself: "If ever I have to get a kick over, this is it." The kick sailed over 

and the rest is history.

Except the history is not quite complete. Was Toffee Sharp the first? Did the 

round-the-corner kick spread overseas from here, or was it developing elsewhere 

simultaneously?

Can anyone out there enlighten us?

Snowmen

CAN the US stand aside and allow this humiliation? Six hundred Japanese have 

established a new world record in snowman-making, smashing a record until now 

held by America.

The 600 built 1 585 snowmen in an hour in the city of Iiyama, north-west of Tokyo,

To count towards the record, the snowmen had to be more than three feet (91cm) tall 

and have facial features and arms. No tools could be used, just the traditional glove-

covered hands. 

Guinness World Records confirms the new record. The previous one of 1 279 

snowmen had been set by 350 participants in the US in 2011. Earlier this month, 

hundreds of people in the Canadian city of Ottawa bettered that number by building 

1 299 snowmen in 60 minutes, but it wasn't officially confirmed and the title now 

belongs to Iiyama. Guinness are very strict about such things.

Iiyama is in the mountainous north of Nagano Prefecture and has heavy snow every 

year. The new world record was set during its annual snow festival.

The US must be smarting over this setback, such a blow to its world prestige. But 

we live in civilised times. The response is unlikely to be giant snowballs dropped on 

Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Signboard

CHALKED sign outside a pub:

"No hipsters!

"Don't be coming round here with your hairy faces, your vegan 

diets, tiny feet and your sawdust bedding.

"No, wait ... Hamsters. No hamsters!"

Tailpiece

A MAN walks into a bar with a small dog. He seats the dog at the piano 

and next thing he's playing the most wonderful tunes. Then a big dog 

comes in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck and drags him 

outside.

"That was quite something," says the bartender. "That little dog's 

amazing. But what's with the big dog?"

"Oh, that's his mother. She wants him to be a doctor."

Last word

The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man 

hardly anything. 

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe