IA colourful brigand
ONE of this province's more colourful brigands died in Maritzburg at the weekend. Gordon "Ginger" Dick was
a man of unfeigned charm, manners and humour who also brought enlivenment and entertainment to any
gathering.
Early one morning at Crossways Hotel, just outside Maritzburg, a group of fellows were lounging around a little
disconsolately over breakfast in the bar. They were supposed to be on a shooting expedition against wild pig
at Hilton College, but the mist had closed in. You couldn't see the end of the shotgun barrel.
So Ginger decided to cheer them all up. He took somebody's shotgun and gave the dartboard both barrels.
Middle for diddle, as the darts folk say. Whammo! The noise in that confined space was simply frightful, the
ears were ringing.
Did Ginger get into trouble? Not at all. He was manager of the Crossways Hotel.
Ginger was a stalwart of Collegians Club, the sergeants' mess at the Natal Carbineers and Twiggy's Pie Cart,
the late-night diner. He had the gift of the gab and would have made a great court lawyer
One night I was with him in his car as we drove from Collegians to the Country Club, the other side of town.
We were being followed by a fellow named "Mango" who had a hot Ford Zephyr. Mango seemed keen to
overtake, and Ginger kept playfully edging out into the road to stop him.
Then he pulled up at a red light. The zephyr came screeching in beside him. Ginger flicked a cigarette stompie
at Mango through the open window. It hit the steering wheel, causing a shower of sparks. The driver jumped
out. It wasn't Mango at all. In fact he was in uniform. This was an NPA cop. (They also drove Zephyrs in those
days.) He was spitting mad.
A tricky situation, to be sure. But Ginger turned on the charm and humour. Eventually the cop was laughing
too. Ginger got a warning ticket. He should have been a courtroom lawyer but never was.
The funeral notice said: "A life well lived." They can say that again. RIP Ginger.
Top drawer
THE cream of Afrikanerdom met outside Stellenbosch recently to discuss the land question and make pretty
generous suggestions that would settle it once and for all, finish en klaar, as reported in this newspaper.
Afrikaner agriculturists, businessmen, bankers and academics were there. The list of delegates could almost
have been the Broederbond in the old days.
By nefarious means I have in my possession a summary of what was discussed. It makes fascinating reading.
One delegate – a senior man in organised agriculture – spoke of involving labour in the plans and wider
consultation. He suggested an Agriculture Conference.
He also told delegates he was leading preparations for the Rugby World Cup tour to England in 2015. The
cost would be about R120 000 a person participating. It promised to be a top tour with tickets for the important
matches. The travel agency was making further arrangements.
"Just watch out in case you are paired off with a Blue Bull. Apply in time for better company."
Time lapse
READER Hans Muldal, of Ixopo (the same one who supplied yesterday's picture of the new Virginia Airport
in Fiji), wants to know what's so confoundedly funny about the famous Punch cartoon that has two hippos
standing in a swamp, one saying: Ï keep thinking it's Thursday."
"Most of my friends think it's hilarious but I have no idea why they think it's funny."
Hans, it's difficult to dissect humour. Perhaps it's the absurdity. If you're a hippo standing in a swamp at St
Lucia or somewhere, what can make Thursday different to any other day?
Perhaps it's partly a play on our contemporary society where we're governed by calendars, diaries,
programmes and so forth. The slightest disruption – like a long weekend – throws everything out. People do
say things like: "I keep thinking it's Thursday".
Difficult to dissect but it is very funny and a classic.
Tailpiece
"WHAT do you think our husbands talk about down at the pub?"
"Probably the same as we talk about."
"The dirty, sex-obsessed rotters!"
Last word
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up
the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper
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