Durban – city of sparks
THE council is right on the button with its ideas to generate its own electricity. Landfill
sites at Springfield, Marannhill, Shongweni and Verulam are already producing gas
that is used to drive generators that in turn produce small but significant amounts of
electricity.
Let such activities be encouraged. Let every avenue be explored. How much gas
does a council meeting not produce – energy that could be converted to electricity
and fed into the grid?
An electricity source of vast potential has so far been completely overlooked.
Throughout the week, and reaching a crescendo at weekends, huge amounts of
static electricity are produced in Durban's nightspots from the silken knickers of the
damsels as they dance the night away.
This static electricity needs to be captured and fed into the grid. The potential is
vast. It could probably power the whole of Durban, plus leave a surplus to sell on to
Eskom.
As it happens, I've been involved with some electrical engineers from UKZN in
researching such matters. It requires great thoroughness and nerve. Also tact.
Florida Road potentially produces more electricity than Medupi.
We ran into a snag though at the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties. The damsels
were co-operative enough but none of them were wearing knickers.
Dispiriting
'TWAS the spirit of the blitz as we watched Bafana versus Ghana at the Street
Shelter for the Over-Forties the other night.
Guttering candles, a small generator keeping a few of the TV screens alive. Yes, the
Luftwaffe, er Eskom, had been at it again.
But, alas, no triumphant resurgence from the rubble. A truly dispiriting affair it was,
after so much promise and build-up.
One glorious moment though. That goal by Mandla Masango was an absolute
corker. The guy had actually been knocked off his feet. He got up, instinct took over,
that incredible synapse between brain and limb, and he banged the thing from far
out, sending the ball sailing over the goalie's outstretched hand and curving down
perfectly just beneath the crossbar.
It was a moment to savour, It's something Mandla can tell his grandchildren.
But the rest of the match, alas, is best forgotten.
Names
A French court has stopped parents naming their baby girl Nutella, after a popular
hazelnut spread, ruling that it would make her the target of derision.
The judge ordered that the child be called Ella instead.
This follows another case in which a French couple wanted to call their daughter
Fraise (Strawberry), but a judge ruled that it could lead to her being teased. He made
them change it to Fraisine, a name that was popular in the 19th
It's an odd business. Do people here ever give their children such nutty names? I
tried to get hold of local child psychologist Bovril Braithwaite but she was away at a
christening.
.
Fundraiser
DURBAN'S musos have rallied to the support of a Bluff schoolboy who is stricken with cancer.
Keagan Herbst, head boy at Brighton Beach Junior Primary, had been in remission but, sadly, the
cancer has returned. Shaun Venter and the Fynnland Combined Sports Club have arrange a fundraiser
to be held at the club – in Smith Drive, Fynnland – from noon on Saturday to 10pm
Music will be provided by DJ Conrad Corrigan and the bands Salty Rits, Calamity Jam, The Ross
Tapson Trio, Jo's Garage and Buckshot. There will also be karaoke for adults and kids, a night
market, a jumping castle, a hot dog eating competition and much more.
Entrance is free but donations are welcome. For more information, or to offer help or to make
donations, contact Shaun on 0614663081 or Carol Stott on 0724148582.
Tailpiece
THE minister is winding up a fiery temperance sermon.
"If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it in the river! And if I had all the wine in the world,
I'd take it and pour it in the river!"
Then, shaking his fist in the air: "And if I had all the whisky in the world, I'd take it and pour it in the
river!"'
Sermon complete, he sits down...
Choirmaster: "Hymn 365, Shall We Gather At The River?.
Last word
Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring
the deadening effect of a habit.
W Somerset Maugham
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