Cane Rat Day
THE icy weather America has been experiencing is going to last
another six weeks. Punxsutawney Phil says so.
Punxsutawney Phil is the groundhog who, according to
Pennsylvania legend, is able to predict when winter will end. If he
emerges from his burrow and sees his shadow, it will last another
six weeks.
The groundhog legend has been around in Pennsylvania since
the early 19th
Day, the film starring Phil Murray that was made in 1993 and was
set in the West Pennsylvania town of Punxsutawney.
The town now has an Inner Circle who wear top hats and relay
the pronouncements of groundhog Punxsutawney Phil. The latest:
"Forecasts abound on the internet but Ï, Punxsutawney Phil, am
still your best bet. Yes, a shadow I see ... Six more weeks of
winter ..."
A groundhog is not, of course, a hog at all. It's more like a
porcupine, the way our cane rat is not a rat but also a member of
the porcupine family. And, oddly enough, cane rats are also known
to have powers of prognostication.
One of the more celebrated, Vondo the Cane Rat, operates from
Gingindlovu. I went to ask what he predicts for the State of the
Nation Address next week. He speaks in riddles.
"One, two three ... hee, hee, hee ... JZ say he pay back monee
...Snowee hard at Qudeni ..."
Snow at Qudeni Hill, near Nkandla? I think Vondo the Cane Rat
might be having us on.
century but achieved wide currency with Groundhog
Cricket memorabilia
DOES anyone recognise the two cricket caps shown on this page?
They're part of a collection that belonged to Chris Burger, the
swashbuckling batsman who played for South Africa, Natal and
Zingari in the late 50s and early sixties and died last year.
His son, David, has donated Chris's cricket memorabilia to his old
school, Michaelhouse, but the two caps are a mystery.
His close friend Tony Clucas – they lunched together every week
for 30 years or so – thinks the red, black and white one might be of
"Crockett's XI"
"This was started as a team of Michaelhouse and Hilton old boys
who had played provincial cricket, but was expanded to include
those of other schools such as DHS and College
"The other cap is almost in the Bishops colours, but I don't think
Chris would have had such a cap. It may, of course, have been
given to him but I would be surprised."
Can anyone out there shed any light?
Lunches
TONY describes Chris Burger as "the naughtiest, and nicest
person, I have ever known."
I can vouch for that. He once had me totally fooled as he
pretended on the phone to be a police sergeant investigating some
student high jinks.
Those must have been great lunches.
Oz democracy
THE Aussies have robust democracy. A letter comes this way
from a fellow wanting to renew his passport to the federal cabinet
minister concerned.
"Dear Mr Minister,
"I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot
believe this. How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone
number, and knows that I bought a television set and golf clubs
and condoms from them back in 1997, and yet the federal
government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?
"My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax
forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is also on my driver's licence, on the last eight
passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out .
"Between you and me, I've had enough of all this bulldang! You send the application to
my house then you ask me for my bloody address.
"What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of
mindless Neanderthals working there? You bloody morons! You
are all pen-pushing, paper-shuffling bloody idiots!"
That's robust Aussie democracy. Who would dream of saying
anything like this to our own Home Affairs folk?
Tailpiece
"DOCTOR, I feel terrible."
"What are the symptoms?"
"They're a cartoon show with yellow people."
Last word
I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.
Victor Borge
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