Dangerous ground indeed
"THE dame is a blonde. She is no intellectual ..." This line in so
many of Damon Runyan's stories reflects a stereotype of the 1920s
and 1930s when he wrote.
Today, of course, we know better. There are brunettes and
redheads who are not intellectuals. Equally, there are blondes,
brunettes and redheads that are so intellectual it's frightening.
The stereotype is a busted flush, to use Runyon's own idiom.
I like Runyan as a writer. I love his characters: Harry the Horse,
Nicely Nicely Jones, the Seldom Seen Kid and all the rest. But
he inadvertently set a dangerous trap for we fellows of the early
21st century with all that talk of blondes who were ipso facto non-
intellectual. We have to pussyfoot our way around it.
And now researchers in Britain seem to be trying to take us back to
the Runyan stereotype. Women are less likely to become scientists
and engineers, they say, because they are taught to believe these
professions require innate intellectual.
They accordingly take up "softer" subjects such as the humanities,
languages and social sciences.
The researchers say innate male genius is represented by fictional
characters such as Sherlock Holmes; female intelligence is
represented by fictional characters such Hermione Granger, who
got there by hard work and swotting. The girls have taken it on
board. Ergo few female scientists and engineers.
This is dangerous ground. I know several blondes, brunettes
and redheads who would eagerly take on these researchers in
intellectual debate and in no time have them in the Boston Crab
and screaming for mercy.
For that reason I'm always sensitive in any reference to dolls,
Judies, pancakes, tomatoes and broads.
Bush gear
A FELLOW who was walking about in the outback of Australia was attacked by a
highly venomous snake, known as a King Brown or Mulga.
It happened to Scott Loxley at a place called Yarboroo, in northern Queensland.
The snake struck at his leg but fortunately its fangs didn't penetrate because
Scott was wearing a Star Wars costume which features plastic shin armour.
Why was he wearing a Star Wars costume in the outback? It seems it was a
charity fund-raising gig which requires such things.
It's a great coincidence. I myself never venture into then bush without a
Spiderman outfit to ward off the pesky hyenas. I know of people who swear by
Superman outfits to protect them against black rhino, while Shrek has the lions
running with their tails between their legs.
Oops!
THE PINELLAS County sheriff's office, in Florida, had a splendid new rug made.
The woven centrepiece was a huge five-pointed star representing the sheriff and
the law, with the county coat-of-arms,
It was only after a couple of months that somebody notice a typo. The coat-arms
motto read: "In Dog We Trust."
In huge embarrassment they rolled it up. (They weren't even prepared to give it to
the canine unit).
But word got about, people found it hilarious and they ended up selling it for a
fortune. The proceeds will go to an animal rescue organisation
Lay awake
WHICH recalls the case of the insomniac agnostic dyslexic.
He lay awake all night wondering if there is a dog.
Pub stuff
THE Fellows at the End of the Bar (United Kingdom Independence Party) are
being challenged in the British election that is coming up by the Fellow Behind
the Bar.
Ukip, is led by generally pint in hand Nigel Farage, who unerringly articulates all
the good sense about everything you always hear from the Fellows at the End
of the Bar and threatens to upset the applecart rather for both the Tories and
Labour. He's going to contest the south Kent constituency of Thanet.
But now comic actor Al Murray – well known for his role as The Pub Landlord –
says he's coming in as well, with his own party.
"The more, the merrier!" says Farage.
Time gentlemen, please!
Tailpiece
Three little boys bring gifts to the new teacher. She knows one father owns a
candy store, the other is a florist and the third has a bottlestore.
She sniffs at the first box. "Is this candy?"
"Yes."
She sniffs at the second. "Are these flowers?"
"Yes."
She notices the third is leaking. She tastes the fluid. "Is this whisky?"
"No, it's a puppy."
Last word
Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.
Albert Camus
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