A rough game
VISITORS from Canada were enthralled last Thursday to watch their first game
of rugby on TV. The rucking and scrumming were much more robust than they
had expected. It was only with difficulty that investment analyst Dr James
Greener was able to convince his guests that this was the State of the Nation
address in Parliament; that the Super 15 would begin only at the weekend.
What a state! Over to James and his latest grumpy newsletter, in which he notes
an ominous and disappointing phase in the nation's political development.
"Almost everyone present in Cape Town behaved badly, even if was just in their
choice of clothing. Apparently nearly every rule in the parliamentary book was
broken. The ease with which 'honourable members' are able to quote the number and
wording of each paragraph in that book in support of their 'point of order' is amazing.
"Equally astonishing is the firm adherence to the supposedly despised British
traditions of gun salutes, mounted police and kilted pipers. The man who lugged the
ceremonial mace into the chamber looked suspiciously like that sign language non-
interpreter who embarrassed us all at Madiba's funeral.
"The whole unedifying farrago was arranged to allow the president to deliver his
annual wish-list. Filled as usual with tortuous grammar to avoid saying anything
definitive, he nevertheless appeared to outline many horrifying and blatantly
investment-unfriendly ideas.
"For example, the plea for foreign investors to send us their money didn't exactly
mesh with banning them from owning property.
"The assurance that the energy shortages were being tackled with a plan to draw up a
plan was not reassuring. There was a lot of talk about unlocking and revitalising stuff
which should in the first place never have been locked up or allowed to die. It seemed
a sure thing that the markets' reaction would be a sharp collapse.
"But they certainly did not. The JSE has set a record high and the rand has not
noticeably weakened against the US dollar (although it is fading versus the pound). So
what the Sona debacle has definitely achieved is a complete disconnect between the
fantasy world of politics and the real world of people making their own decisions."
That's quite a thought. Maybe we should just ignore the government and get on with
things. They seem to have reached a point where they're incapable of doing anything,
good or bad.
Rust
MEANWHILE, at King's Park on Saturday we had scenes reminiscent of Parliament.
At times it seemed t the Free State pack were recruited from the parliamentary strong-
arm squad.
We blew it, of course, in a blizzard of heavy flakes of rust from our fellows. Who ever
saw before so many dropped passes and spills in the tackle?
But the match had its moments, not least the pulsating finale when the Sharks
wakened from the dagga dream to play some real rugby. Let's take from it this
positive thought: At least they've abandoned that dreary kicking game of last season.
All they have to do now is play running rugby for 80 minutes instead of 12.
Pop concert?
BUMS on seats? I don't think I ever saw a smaller crowd at King's
Park– and this for the opening match of the season.
What will the response be? More gormless Americanisation? More
blasting music? Pop concert rugby?
It's actually becoming offensive. Do they think rugby fans are
cretons?
Let's have quality curtain-raisers – good schools rugby – instead of
this Sunday school picnic so-called entertainment. And if there has
to be entertainment, bring on the pipe bands and the Zulu dancers.
Now listen!
OUR rugby administrators do listen to the fans. The point was
made on Saturday when the "Sharkie" mascot of recent seasons
– who looked more like a Friesland bull than anything else – was
banished to make way for the original Sharkie – a lean and mean
critter with huge teeth.
It's an excellent principle – listen to the fans. Any day now, Sharkie
will give way to the fellow with the bunch of bananas who used to
dive over under the posts, to the acclamation of a packed stadium
– which is what I think they're looking for.
Sigh! But nobody's listening.
Tailpiece
A GIRAFFE walks into a bar.
Barman: "We've never had a giraffe in here before."
Giraffe: "I'm not surprised. That doorframe's much too low."
Last word
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
Mae West
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