Friday, September 26, 2014

The Idler, Friday, September 26, 2014

Hip-hop Grandma calling

 

YOUNGSTERS around the world have been receiving puzzling Facebook messages wishing them happy birthday, good luck in your exams and that kind of thing from one of the big names in hip-hop.

 

The hip-hop star in question is known as Grandmaster Flash. As the sender of the post keys in G-R-A-N-D-M-A, Facebook's autoselection function picks it up, completes the signature of "Grandmaster Flash" and sends it off.

 

Hey, cool dudes! Grandma's in good company.

 

An example: "To my Griesselmann grandkids going off to college – Travis, Liz, Hunter, Garret. May you all have a wonderful year, choose good friends, great profs, study, study and pray. I'll be praying for you also. Love Grandmaster Flash."

 

The hip-hop man himself – real name Joseph Saddler – finds the thing hilarious and says he wishes all the kids well anyway.

 

This world of social media becomes more and more complex. Myself I stick to my trusty cellphone, the one with a little handle which I crank to get the Nkandla exchange and then get put through to Mac Maharaj. No misunderstandings.

 

Korea pilots?

 

A FEW months ago we mentioned that former fighter pilot Albie Gotze (SAAF and seconded to the RAF during World War II) had been unable to find any pilot still alive who also flew sorties at the D-Day landings.

 

The obituary of another veteran fighter pilot, Major Stewart "Bomb" Finney, prompts Dave Thompson, of Umhlali, to ask whether Albie is also the last Korean War pilot still standing?

 

I wonder. Albie, who eventually retired with the rank of Brigadier-General and now lives somewhere in the Kloof/Hillcrest area, was indeed in the Korean War. Are any of his fellow-pilots still around?

 

Dream team

 

PEOPLE have been writing to the papers naming their cricket "dream team" – a theoretical selection spanning the decades.

 

Gerard Robinson, of Howick, puts together his choice, which he reckons would have beaten any side in the world: Barry Richards, Hashim Amla, Jacques Kallis, Graeme Pollock, AB de Villiers (wicketkeeper), Clive Rice (captain), Mike Proctor, Dale Steyn, Vince van der Bijl, Garth le Roux and Alan Donald.

 

"With seven fast bowlers this side would equal the "shock and awe" factor of the West Indies at their best.

 

"For ODIs I would include Jonty Rhodes instead of Van der Bijl or Le Roux and touring the Sub-continent one could include Denys Hobson as the spinner and maybe Shaun Pollock, depending on the wicket.

 

"How scary would this Top XI not be on the old Kingsmead 'mamba'!"

 

What do the rest of you think?

 

No kidding

 

READER Eric Hodgson sends in details on the packaging of one of the freebies distributed by British Airways:

 

"Almonds and cashew nuts. Salted, dry-roasted. No added oil. Warning: contains nuts."

 

They don't say!

 

 

Great mix

SPONTANEITY was the theme at the St Clements soiree this week as Jerome Pillai – guitar, piano, drums and vocal – teamed up with a range of people who had never rehearsed with him before to produce some astonishingly good stuff, ranging from folk to jazz and rhythm and blues.

Jerome's Starry Starry Night – a tribute to Van Gogh – is always a winner but renderings of Summertime and On A Clear Day with "surprise guest" Shomona, a professional singer, were right up there too.

Also readings by Jean-Marie Spitaels from his book of poetry, Crescent Waves, punctuated by bursts on the harmonica. As the old song goes:

When we were kids on the corner of the street
We were rough and ready guys
But Oh! How we could harmonise …

 

Aliens

OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "The word 'phonetically' doesn't even start with an 'f'. It's stuff like this that makes the aliens fly right past us."

Tailpiece

Daughter: "Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in Australia and he lives in the UK . We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on What's app. He proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of relationship through Viper. Dad, I need your blessings and good wishes."

 

Father: "Wow! Really! Then get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon and pay through PayPal. And if you're fed up with your husband … sell him on e-Bay".

 

 

Last word

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.

John Kenneth Galbraith

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