Early parachute jumps?
DOES anyone out there have any record of parachute jumps in KwaZulu-Natal prior to the formation of the Pieternaritzburg Parachute Club in 1954 (the first club of its type in the Commonwealth of those days)?
Allan Banfield, of Hertfordshire, in England, who is researching the history of parachuting and skydiving in this country, seems to have successfully connected with former members of the now defunct Pietermaritzburg and Durban clubs. But he says he's discovered that there seems to have been a number of individual pioneers who made ad hoc jumps between 1920 and 1953.
Does anyone have any information on this or old pictures? Allan would be most grateful.
Ad hoc
I CAN think of one ad hoc parachute jump sometime in the fifties. It was when Graham Schwikkard, a World War II fighter pilot still with the SAAF reserves, took off from Stamford Hill aerodrome in his Harvard. Behind him in the open cockpit was Stanley Gee, a well-known freelance photographer. They were going to get shots of an aerial display by two Vampire jets from Waterkloof, Pretoria.
Gee had a parachute and was strapped in, as the regulations required. As the Vampires came over they dived, and Schwikkard did the same. Then he turned round to see how the photographer was doing and – to his utter astonishment and dismay – he wasn't there, the co-pilot's seat was empty.
Next Schwikkard saw a parachute open, way out over the sea.
Gee had somehow been left behind when the Harvard dived. Probably he had undone his straps. There he was, free-falling in mid-air. But he had the presence of mind to pull his ripcord and the parachute opened.
He was far from shore. A lifesaver from Pirates saw what was happening and paddled out to him on his ski and was able to disentangle him from the parachute and wait for a rescue launch from the harbour.
Schwikkard and Gee met up later in the mess at Stamford Hill, both very shaken. They demolished between them the best part of a bottle of whisky. Schwikkard then drove Gee home.
They were met at the door by a razor-lipped Mrs Gee.
"I'm sorry, my dear," Gee began. "You see, I fell out of an aeroplane today …"
At which she administered a klap to be heard all over Morningside.
All this was very ad hoc.
Schools rugby
READER Bob Bell, of Berea, says he is saddened by developments in schoolboy rugby.
"After all, it's only a game. One never plays to lose. We should remember the words of Sir Henry Newbolt:"
For when that One great scorer,
Comes to write against your name,
He marks not
Whether you won or lost,
But HOW you played the game.
Beer
A handful of seven-year-old children in Australia were asked what they thought of beer:
* "I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mum gets." – Tim.
· "Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice." – Melanie.
· "My mum and dad both like beer. My mum gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very funny". – Grady.
· ''My mum and dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing." – Toby.
· "My dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool." – Lily.
· "I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting." – Ethan.
· "My mum drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense." – Jack.
Tailpiece
HOW many existentialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolises a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity, reaching towards the ultimate horror of a maudlin cosmos of bleak, hostile nothingness.
Last word
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
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