Thursday, September 4, 2014

The Idler, Friday, August 22, 2014

Did he do it?

MANNETJIES Roux has done a lot of things in his time. He scored the winning try for Griquas in a Currie Cup final against Northern Transvaal, inspiring Laura Rauch's oh so poignant ballad, Stuur Groete Aan Mannetjies Roux (Send greetings To Mannetjies Roux).

He broke the jaw of British Lions flyhalf Richard Sharp in a tackle. He gave a demonstrator a kick in the pants down in New Zealand.

But did this diminutive and mercurial centre and wing threequarter ever fly a sabre jet through an aircraft hangar – in one end, out the other?

It came up at a dinner party the other night. This fellow said he was told the story many years ago. Everyone seemed to believe it at the time. But he's never been able to establish whether it's true or not, perhaps a figment of overheated imaginations late at night in the mess at Waterkloof.

Mannetjies certainly was in the air force. But flying a sabre jet through a hangar? The mind boggles. Maybe he flew a Harvard through. Maybe he just went through at high speed on a Harley Davidson. Or maybe it's one of those myths.

I'd certainly never heard it before. Can anyone out there help? It would put my dinner companion's mind at rest one way or the other.

En hy praat van die vlug van Mannetjies Roux … (And he talks of the flight of Mannetjies Roux …)

Turned back

A MAN named Rolf Buchholz has been denied entry to Dubai. Immigration officials at the United Arab Emirates airport refused to give reasons why the German entertainer had been turned back, meaning he had to cancel a performance at a local nightclub.

It seems most unreasonable, an action of sheer prejudice and antiquated resistance based purely on superficial appearance.

Buchholz has had horn implants to his forehead, giving him a distinctly devilish look. His face alone is adorned with more than 100 brass studs. In fact he holds the world record for the greatest number of body piercings – 453 - some of them on his genitalia. He is festooned with tattoos.

For some reason the immigration officials at Dubai airport didn't like the look of him and refused to let him in.

How fuddy-duddy can you get?

Sad lines

Remember the sad story of the female great white shark – nicknamed Brenda Fassie when she was electronically tagged at Mossel Bay then tracked as she travelled up the coast to Mozambiqe? The consternation among marine scientists as her position unaccountably moved inland? And the way she was eventually found to have been caught by Mozambican fishermen and ended up in a village cooking pot?

It was recalled at St Clement's this week as Pieter Scholtz launched his new book, Juweeltjies en Stukkies Glas (Gems and bits of glass) – published by Horus – which contains a glitter of poems, including Japanese haiku, and "flash fiction", which is 100-word short stories.

Poor Brenda Fassie

Seven months ago

She made her way along the coast

From Mossel Bay to Mozambique

On October 4 at 5.53 am

She transmitted a signal

Near a hut and a palm tree

Her swansong.

Poor Brenda Fassie

Great White Sharks

Are not protected in Mozambique.

Rather a sombre note. But Rick and Jill Andrew lifted the spirits with a finale of Forever Young, by Bob Dylan.

Truth will out

WEATHER conditions such as at Loftus Last week always narrow the gap between sides. But the worry is: who was on top? Those scrums looked very shaky for us.

The truth will emerge in Salta tomorrow. Unless, of course, they have avalanches and such things in Salta.

Understanding

OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties: "Don't try to understand women. Women understand women. And they hate them."

Tailpiece

A WILD-looking man comes into the psychiatrist's rooms. He's in Napoleonic costume and has a hand inside his jacket. "Doctor, I need your help."

"I can see that. Please lie down on the couch and tell me your problem."

"I don't have any problem. In fact I'm the Emperor of France. But I'm afraid my wife, Josephine, has deep mental problems."

"Oh, and what would those be?"

"For some strange reason she keeps thinking she's Mrs Smith."

 

Last word

The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable.

John Kenneth Galbraith

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