Characters of Dundee
A SNIPPET from the Scottish referendum campaign – Adam Boulton was in Dundee testing the water for Sky News. He mentioned that Dundee is where the Beano and Dandy comic are published, read by schoolboys all over the English-speaking world.
As a Dundonian myself – Dundee, Northern Natal – I took note.
Adam was standing beside a bronze statue in the city square of Desperate Dan, the Dandy's cow pie man who is possessed of such immense strength. Dundee also has a Bash Street, though it's not clear whether it's named after the Beano feature, The Bash Street Kids, or whether it was always there and the feature was named after the street.
Ah yes, the Bash Street Kids. Smiffy "who always gets things wrong" and wears a vest pulled up to just beneath his nostrils. Other Beano/Dandy characters: Dennis the Menace, Minnie the Minx and Keyhole Kate.
Lovely stuff. In days of yore there was great angst if the Union Castle mailboat was delayed by bad weather and the weekly Beano and Dandy were a day or two late.
Adam consulted the local newspaper, the Courier, for referendum news. And, of course, our Dundee also has a newspaper – the Courier. Connections, connections.
The Dandy has another character perhaps with relevance to the referendum. Certain Scots look askance at Prime Minister David Cameron's old Etonian and Tory affiliations. Step forward, Lord Snooty!
Gurkhas
THE Mercury gets quoted everywhere. Last Friday we had a Tailpiece in which a wealthy gent in London gives a large donation to a fellow with a sign: "Falklands War veteran – please help"
The fellow replies: "Muchas gracias, senor!"
It tickled local historian and writer Peter Quantrill (a former Gurkha Regiment officer), who has sent it on to Brigadier David Morgan in Britain.
"He commanded the 1/7th Gurkhas in the Falklands and is going to use it in his speech at the 7th Gurkha Reunion in London on September 20."
Muchas gracias, Pedro!
Mayhem
TONY Ford, a veteran prop forward in club rugby, takes up the issue of red and yellow cards and says the main need is for the administrators to take control of the game. The head and the neck should be absolutely verboten, no-go tackle areas.
"Not so long ago a lock playing for Western Province against the Bulls in an Under 21 game had his neck broken in a maul and will never be the same again, let alone play rugby.
"This incident has been shown in slow-motion replay and a Bulls lock clearly drives into the trapped Province player with a shoulder to the head, followed by the other Bulls lock pulling the Province player backwards by the neck out of the maul and on to the turf.
"To the best of my knowledge the only sanction was a suspension for the Bulls lock who pulled the Province lock out by the neck. I consider this to be a cowardly assault on a man who could not defend himself, as he was trapped in the maul.
"I watched Province play the Kings and witnessed a Province loose forward drive his shoulder into the face of a Kings loose forward, who was binding on the side of the ruck and having no influence on play.
"The Province player was yellow carded and the Kings player left the field bleeding profusely from the face. Shortly thereafter a Province lock scragged the opposing scrumhalf by flinging him around and over by the collar of his jersey in a dangerous act considering the size difference between the two men.
"This same lock was declared 'Man of the match'.
"In almost every game we see today there is an incident of a high or dangerous tackle to the neck area of a player."
"All this is a glaring failure of the rugby authorities to control the game. You are safer in a cage fight today than on a rugby field."
Tailpiece
President Zuma gets off the helicopter at the Union Buildings, carrying a piglet under each arm.
The chief security officer snaps to attention, salutes and says: "Nice pigs, sir."
Zuma replies: "These are not just any old pigs. These are authentic Limpopo razorback hogs. I got them for two members of the cabinet."
The chief security officer again snaps to attention and salutes: "Excellent swap, sir."
Last word
To err is human; to forgive, infrequent.
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