Adventures in the zoo
A THEME park and zoo in England has banned visitors from wearing animal print clothing – especially lion, tiger or cheetah - because it frightens the animals.
Giraffe prints are also verboten at Chessington World of Adventures because it confuses the real giraffes. Yes, nothing more confusing and embarrassing than to encounter an amorous giraffe while on a game drive – it's the kind of adventure you don't really want.
Linda Berggren, a keeper, says the animals have been put through a two to three-month desensitisation programme to accustom them to vehicles, people, different noises and different colours. "But we never really desensitised them to the animal print fashion trends that are now getting really popular."
Staff are issuing grey boiler suits to park-goers whose clothing does not match the rules.
Grey boiler suits? What about amorous baboons?
Your preference?
ALL of which recalls some lines of verse.
Would you like to sin
With Eleanor Glynn
Upon a tiger skin?
Or would you prefer
To err
With her
Upon some other fur?
Hollow men
AS THE political standoff in America continues and the clock ticks down to October 17 when – if no compromise is reached – the US will renege on its debt repayments, the economic recovery will be shattered and the entire world will be plunged into dire confusion, are we not reminded of the lines of TS Eliot in The Hollow Men?
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
Tense times
THESE are the times that try men's souls … a Currie Cup home semi-final at stake tonight, top spot in the southern hemisphere at stake tomorrow.
What a season it's been. The Currie Cup is always a great competition. And has there ever been a southern hemisphere competition as laden with emotion and tension as this year's? It's really top spot in world rugby that's at stake.
And whatever happens tomorrow, the Currie Cup takes on new impetus in its final stages as the Boks return to their provincial stables. Everything keeps ratcheting upward.
'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!
Arresting abstracts
NUDES, nudes, nudes … they were everywhere, mysterious, enigmatic, a collection of female pulchritude such as Durban has seldom seen.
No, this wasn't strip-tease night at the Street Shelter for the Over-Forties, it was the opening at Artisan Gallery, in Florida Road, of Barry Comber's Fotografix exhibition – an ingenious running of photography through the computer to create abstract images of the female form that are most arresting - by turn colourful, stark in contrast and vibrant. These are most definitely an art form, the prints so tasteful that perves would be as disappointed as would prudes.
Part of the fun was trying to match up the gals present at the opening with the abstracts that plastered the walls of the gallery, but nobody was admitting to anything. Barry is a crafty old fox – an unusual mix of rugger bugger, photographic craftsman and artist – and just smiled enigmatically.
The exhibition runs for two weeks and a few days.
Hidden treasure
YO-HO-HO and a bottle of rum … It wasn't Treasure Island, it was Mont Blanc, in the Alps, but a French climber has uncovered a treasure chest of jewels worth €246 000 (R3.5 million) while crossing a glacier.
The box of emeralds, rubies and sapphires was from the wreckage of an Air India plane that crashed into the mountain half a century ago.
The unnamed climber handed his find to the police, who are trying to trace the jewels' rightful owners, failing which they will revert to him.
Yo-ho-ho …
Tailpiece
IT'S BEEN a tough and tiring day. The train commuter settles in his seat and closes his eyes. The woman sitting beside him takes out her cellphone.
"Hi, sweetheart, it's Sue. I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the 6.30, not the 4.30, but I had an office meeting No, not with Kevin from accounting, with the boss. No, sweetheart, you're the only one in my life …"
Fifteen minutes later she's still at it. The tired commuter leans across and says into the mouthpiece: "Sue, stop gabbing into that phone and come back to bed!"
Sue doesn't use a cellphone in public any more.
Last word
Good taste is the enemy of comedy.
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