Blowing in the wind
PRESIDENT Jacob Zuma promises at regular intervals to create five million new jobs. But nothing much seems to have happened so far.
Gordon McNeill, of Glenhills, says all he need do is legalise cannabis – dagga – and set up state farms.
The Netherlands and parts of the US have already done so. Britain will be next, he predicts.
"Legalise cannabis now and start state farms to create employment, growing, harvesting and packaging
"Sell 25 percent locally and export the remaining 75 percent to the rest of the world. Just think of all that drug money rolling in to our economy – 500 000 tons a year a R1 000/kg comes to R500 billion. Divide this among five million people, that's R100 000 a year.
"This means Instant jobs with no training, just planting. Dagga grows everywhere."
Yep, as Bob Dylan sang – the answer is blowing in the wind.
Poser
DR PETER Quantock, of Empangeni, sends in a scientific poser.
"Travelling in a car at 100 miles per hour, I fire a pistol (muzzle velocity 500 mph) in a forward direction. The bullet will be travelling at 600 mph.
"Now consider (hypothetically) travelling through space at the speed of light.
"I produce a torch, point it through the 'windscreen' and switch it on.
"Why can that beam of light not be travelling at twice the speed of light? This is said to be impossible? But why?"
Good question. (And we make allowances for its being posed in miles per hour. In Empangeni they don't use this newfangled metric nonsense).
Love, marriage
A SURVEY among small children in America produces some astonishing insights.
How do you decide who to marry?
· "You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports she should like it that you like sports, and she should
keep the chips and dip coming." - Alan, 10.
· No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." - Kristen, 10.
What is the right age to get married?
· "Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then." - Camille, 10.
· "No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married." - Freddie, 6.
How can a stranger tell if two people are married?
· "You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." - Derrick, 8.
What do most people do on a date?
· "Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." - Lynnette, 8.
· "On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." - Martin, 10.
What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
· "I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns." -Craig, 9.
When is it OK to kiss someone?
· "When they're rich." - Pam, 7.
· "The law says you have to be 18, so I wouldn't want to mess with that." - Curt, 7.
· "The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do." - Howard, 8.
Is it better to be single or married?
· "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita, 9.
How would the world be different if people didn't get married?
· There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
- Kelvin, 8.
How would you make a marriage work?
· "Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. - Ricky, 10 (Now there's a survivor).
·
Tailpiece
LOUIS van Gaal, manager of Manchester United, is phoned late at night by the police.
"Sorry to disturb you, sir. The club has been broken into."
"The cups! Did they get the cups?"
"No sir, they didn't get into the kitchen."
Last word
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy.
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