A different era
ARE the Brits are going soft? When William Wallace fought for Scotland's independence, they took him to the Tower of London where he was hanged, drawn and quartered, after which his severed head was dunked in a barrel of pitch then left on display at the Tower for a week.
When Alex Salmond tried the same last week, he got a phone call next morning from Downing Street saying: "Bad luck, old chap, you put up a splendid show – no hard feelings."
But, on balance, I think most of us prefer the second option. The 21st century does have its irritations – the take-over of digital software, social media, the celebrity cult and non-stop professional sport – but in many ways we've moved on significantly since the 13th. (If only the Scots nationalists would do the same).
The world held its breath at the spectacle of the United Kingdom coming close to dismantling itself, for no discernible reason.
Lord Snooty is surely to blame. If David Cameron had allowed the Maximum Devolution option on the ballot paper – which Scotland is now going to get anyway – it would have had at least 80% support.
Skipper/coach
YOU ask if anyone out there can help. You're speaking to the world at large - and then you get a response from just round the corner.
Reader Don Porter asked who coached the 1937 Springboks on their victorious tour of New Zealand? The team photograph shows skipper Phillip Nel and vice-captain Danie Craven sitting with Boy Louw between the manager and assistant manager (who are the only two not in rugby togs).
No coach is mentioned. Don speculates that the captain and vice-captain must have coached the side in those days.
Correct – as far as the captain goes anyway. Springbok big game fisherman Monty English, who lives so close by he could throw beer cans on to the roof of my humble abode, was at Maritzburg College with Phillip Nel's son, Piet. He used to spend school holidays on their farm, Vetspruit, near Greytown.
Monty assures me that Phillip used to coach the side. Also, he didn't play in that first Test in 1937 – the only one the Boks lost.
That explains it then. But why is Boy Louw also sitting in that special spot between the manager and the assistant manager?
He must have been the team statistician. Boy Louw was famous for saying: "Looks at the scoreboard, man!"
You think not?
BOY Louw eventually took up refereeing club rugby. One Saturday afternoon in Cape Town he awarded a rather scrappy-looking try.
The defending skipper protested: "Oom Boy, dis nooit 'n drie!" (Uncle Boy, that's never a try!)
"Dink jy nie so nie? Lees vanaand se Cape Argus." (Don't you think so? Read tonight's Cape Argus.)
Our haka
PHILLIP Nel was a delightful man - big, burly and blond, a truly sunny character, exuding bonhomie.
He played rugby for Natal while still at Maritzburg College. He used to come back to the school at the start of every rugby season to give a pep talk to the boys – all ages, all levels. He lived rugby.
He also once demonstrated a Zulu war dance the Natal side used to perform before the match. Our own haka. I wonder why they ever stopped that?
Amateur days
STILL with rugby, Zoltan de Rosner, of Pennington, blames professionalism for dirty play. Everything is just too intense, he says.
Zoltan played first division club rugby for 13 years.
"Everyone's now in it for the money, whereas we'd play just for the fun of it.
"You took the hard tackles. It was hard and uncompromising but there was always the handshake and a beer together … and friendships that lasted to this day. It's a shame how things have changed."
Old boys' dinner
CALLING all Orient Old Boys … their Association is holding its 47th annual dinner at 6pm on Friday at Solly Manjra's Restaurant in Sea Cow Lake.
Guest speaker will be Dr Faisal Suleman, of the South African Muslim Network.
Contact: Ismail Patel, PO Box 4277 Durban 4000; 072-5437860; orientoldboys@msn.com
Tailpiece
WEIGHT loss hint: When you feel the urge to eat, do it standing naked in front of a mirror. The restaurant will throw you out long before you've swallowed much.
Last word
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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