The latte salute
AS IF he didn't have enough military problems in Syria and northern Irag, Barack Obama is now taking flak for a sloppy salute.
Well, sloppy is hardly the word. Obama came down the steps of the US Marines jet that flew him to New York for a UN meeting.
The two marines at the foot of the steps saluted smartly. Obama responded, forgetting that he had in his saluting hand a polystyrene cup of coffee.
Oops! It's the worst they've seen since George Dubya Bush saluted in the same way, forgetting he had under that arm his pet Scottish terrier.
Now Obama's effort is being derided on social media as the "latte salute". The Republicans have it on their website, appealing for campaign funding.
Why do American presidents salute their marines like this? There's no need as they (the presidents) are not in military uniform.
Apparently it was started in a joky way by Ronald Reagan, outdoing the marines in snappiness. Since then it's stuck. They must just make sure they're not carrying a hot dog or a cream bun or a can of beer at the time. A jaunty cigar might be OK.
Old soldier
THE above recalls an incident down in East Griqualand when a fellow – let's call him Ginger – was called up for the local skietkommando, having for years served in one of the crack traditional regiments.
A skietkommando junior officer reprimanded Ginger for failing to salute him. At which Ginger snapped to attention and saluted him with both hands. The rest of the kommando roared. The officer blushed and retreated in embarrassment.
You can't beat an old soldier.
Mystery man
WHO was the mystery player on the Boks' bench at Newlands last Saturday? He came on pretty late, dropped a goal, scored a brilliant try in which he slipped at least three tackles and slotted a conversion.
He looked slightly familiar. Oh, of course, it was Patrick Lambie. They guy's had so little game time lately, people had forgotten him.
That surely has to change.
Meanwhile, the Sharks are on song at last. Hier kom 'n ding!
Whizzbangs
A NEW word swims into my ken. It's ugly as an alligator. Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising, unexpected and frequently humorous. Some examples:
· Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
· The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
· Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
· If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
· We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Paraprosdokians, a word of Greek origin. I'd rather call them dingbats or whizzbangs.
Dance steps
STRICTLY Come Dancing … Investment analyst Dr James Greener says in his latest grumpy newsletter that the only thing missing on the financial scene is the spangled frocks.
"It's getting like a ballroom dance competition. Long and intricate displays of fancy footwork are taking place in order to conceal the real fact that the government plus the large number of its dependant corporations is running ever deeper into debt.
"The competition judges are the ratings agencies who are already flipping through the score sheets to the 'junk status' page and they will any second now be holding those sheets aloft for all to see.
"That term is misleadingly alarming and harsh. In practice it is simply a warning flag to lenders that in the opinion of the agency (who, by the way, have a blemished record on these matters) the borrowers are battling a little more than most to repay their loans."
"Actual default is not at all being suggested yet and for the moment South Africa will undoubtedly behave just like an 'investment grade' borrower and continue to pay timeously and in full.
"This is why the downgrade when it comes will be received in Pretoria with outbursts of indignation and contemptuous dismissal. Sadly however, there is no evidence that anyone in charge is going to do anything effective to slow the growing debt …"
Tailpiece
"MY husband just ran off with my best friend."
"You must be upset."
"Yes, I really miss her."
Last word
If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.
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