Saturday, October 18, 2014

The Idler, Friday, October 17, 2014

Day of destiny

 

IT'S a big 'un tomorrow and if the gods of rugby are onside, it's a giant step to the final. A day of destiny. And if the Bulls should manage to pull it off down at Newlands, it could be a King's Park final. Bring it on, bring it on!

 

A feast of rugby lies ahead. We can say this with confidence because this Currie Cup season has already sparked a risorgimento in South African rugby. From the stodginess and lack of imagination of the Super Rugby competition we have moved into the handling and running into space of the Currie Cup. It's a joy to watch.

 

Not only that, the penny has dropped for the Boks as well. They no longer treat the ball as something to be kicked away before it bites them, they too are running into space and handling. The pay-off has been immediate – the scalps of the Aussies and the All Blacks. The World Cup beckons.

 

'Erewego, 'erewego, 'erewego!

 

Go bananas

 

A EUROPEAN Cup qualifier football match between Serbia and Albania ended in Belgrade the other night in fisticuffs, with thunderflashes thrown on the field and a violent spectator invasion. The English referee blew full time, not a goal scored.

 

The reason: Albanian supporters were not allowed into Serbia (let alone the stadium) because of continuing tensions over the Kosovo war. Then, as the game progressed, a drone appeared over the pitch. It was dragging a flag which showed a map of an ancient Albania that included Kosovo. This is highly provocative in Serbia.

 

The drone was flying pretty low and the flag was on halyards that were reachable. The Serb players reeled it in. At which the Albanians attacked with fury. Next thing the crowd joined the melee. The police were unable to do a thing.

 

What happens if tomorrow somebody runs onto the field at Ellis Park with a banana tree? What ancient Balkan-style animosities would not be aroused? Natal versus Transvaal. Remember the Alamo!

 

 

Zorba

 

A READER who calls himself "Burnie from Newcastle" sends in his favourite "Zorba" to go with others listed here earlier in the week: "I used to be conceited but now I'm perfect."

 

Any more?

 

 

Ceilidhs

 

EARLIER this week we discussed a Scots ceilidh (pronounced "Kayley") that was held here in Durban. Naomi Wakefield says she last encountered that word in the Australian novel, The Thorn Birds.

 

"I remember that Meggie, the heroine of the story, did not enjoy it very much, if at all, as the ladies weren't allowed to dance."

 

Times have changed, Naomi. At the ceilidh I went to, the ladies had to be restrained from dancing in the nude.

 

Peter Ferraz

 

IT'S sad to learn of the death of Peter Ferraz, founder of the Splashy Fen music festival in the southern Drakensberg.

 

Peter was a fellow who crammed a lot into his 76 years. After qualifying as an advocate and being admitted to the bar, he went into newspapers where he became news editor of The Star, in Johannesburg, which is where I first met him.

 

Then he did the giant leap to running a trout hatchery in the southern Berg, where he also set up the annual music festival that has become a national landmark.

 

Was it coincidence that the name of his farm – Splashy Fen – so closely resembles that line in Evelyn Waugh's classic novel, Scoop: "Feather-footed through the plashy fen passes the questing vole …"?

 

The story is of a "countryside notes" correspondent who is sent by mistake by a Fleet Street newspaper to cover a civil war in Africa. Absolutely hilarious.

 

I wonder if it was that similarity that attracted Peter to the farm in the first place.

 

The Splashy Fen festival will be an enduring monument to this multi-talented and highly entertaining character.

 

Tailpiece

 

A LITTLE old lady's Maltese poodle falls off the pier into the sea. As she shrieks in distress, a German tourist dives off the pier to go after it. He reaches the dog and swims it back to the pier. He climbs back again and hands it to her after checking that it's not injured.

 

"Oh, thank you, thank you!"

 

"Don't vorry. Your dog iss fine."

 

"Are you a vet?"

 

"Vet? I'm bloomin' soaked!"

 

Last word

 

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

George Burns

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