Fish dish chain
YESTERDAY we discussed Kokstad's "fish manure" on a hotel menu. Reader Dave Thompson, of Umhlali, has discovered something just as exotic.
"We have a couple of local Salt Rock restaurants offering sole meuniere, but my favourite is the blackboard 'special' of calamari testicles. I've always wondered at the size and taste of such a dish."
It is indeed a puzzle. I once worked for an outfit known as the Argus Africa News Service. We had offices in Johannesburg, Harare, Dar-es-Salaam, Nairobi, Accra, Luanda and Windhoek, as well as a network of first-class correspondents in other countries. We also worked closely with the BBC and some top American newspapers.
A spokesman for the Organisation of African Unity once expressed alarm at this close attention and described the Argus company as "an octopus spreading its testicles all over Africa."
I get it now. He was talking about a fish dish chain.
Nudists' choice
READER Eamon Bussy says last week's suggestion of nude rugby on the beach at Country Club is a non-starter.
"Rugby is just not popular at any naturistic venue anywhere in the world. Even the most casual observer at any nudist beach would notice that a naked man's primary sport of choice is swingball."
Circular quest
HAS anyone tried phoning Directory Inquiries lately?
The number given in the current directory is 1023. Dial that and you get a voice saying: "The number you have dialled does not exist."
What to do now? Phone Directory Inquiries, I suppose, except …
Hamster power
A MAN tried to "zorb" his way across the ocean from Florida to Bermuda in an inflatable bubble of clear plastic, propulsion provided by his running inside it like a hamster on a wheel.
But Iranian exile Reza Baluchi had to be rescued by the US Coastguard 100km east of St Augustine, Florida, when he became exhausted and disorientated and activated his locator beacon.
The coastguards had earlier warned him of the dangers of attempting the 1 600km crossing, sustained only by protein bars and the fish he intended catching.
Just as well he got no further. If he'd entered the infamous Bermuda Triangle, he'd have been a goner. That's where whole ships and aircraft disappear, let alone plastic bubbles.
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Tailpiece
A MAN is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and a gorgeous redhead is sitting adjacent to his table. He's been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to strike up a conversation.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards him. He reflexively reaches out, snatches it in mid-air and hands it back to her.
"Oh my, I'm so sorry," she says, as she cleans the eye and pops it back into place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you."
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre, followed by drinks.
They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens with interest.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.
They have a wonderful, wonderful time.
Next morning she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything has been so incredible. "You know," he says, "You are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?''
"No," she says. "You just happened to catch my eye."
Last word
Seek simplicity, and distrust it.
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