The Idler, Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Moment of truth

 

WELL, all Bafana need do tonight is rattle up about 10 goals against France and we're through to the next round. If that doesn't happen, we all choose somebody else to support.

 

Having drawn Germany in a private sweepstake, I'm fighting down Prussian tendencies. Achtung! Raus! Schweinehund! Zis is no joke!

 

Meanwhile, reader Gray Braatvedt remarks on an uncanny moment in the Bafana match against Uruguay.

 

"Watching the dreadful 90 minutes unfold in Bafana Bafana's game against Uruguay a strange phenomenon happened just after the third goal was scored. So stunned were the South African fans that they stopped blowing their vuvuzelas for a moment. The silence was deafening.

 

"Could it be that someone will write a horror story about it called Silence of the Stands?"

 

 

London perspective

SOUTH Africans living in London appear undismayed by the debacle however. Rather they are thrilled that the World Cup is actually on and they are getting flashes of the Durban beachfront and elsewhere on TV every night. Stanley Fraser has cobbled together and ode:

We all doubted it would be successful

For South Africa it would be too stressful.

 

At the time we agreed it was crazy

But critics' memories have all become hazy.

 

If you now try to find a detractor

Ayoba! Soccer is the common factor.

 

Danny Jordaan and his buddies have shown

South Africa's ability to stage it had grown.

 

The opening ceremony was a real blast

(It's too bad Bafana's start didn't last.)

 

Patriotic fervour surrounds us

Vuvu's buzz is still causing a fuss.

 

English fans find the noise quite disturbing

but Fifa says: "There will be no curbing!"

 

The photos you send make us homesick

The beachfront is particularly nostalgic.

 

Durban Stadium will become a great icon

Captured digitally by Canon and Nikon.

 

Green and yellow of Bafana abound

South African flags are waved all around.

 

All the fans wear the colours of their nation

Don't wear orange though, it creates a sensation!

 

World press all agree South Africa's fantastical

It's great to read stuff not political.

 

Long may this patriotism last

It's time to move on from the past.

 

Hoor, hoor!

 

Verbal skills   FOOTBALLERS dazzle with their fancy footwork on the field. Not everyone realises what verbal skills some of them have as well. Here is a collection of gems:   ·        "Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had." -  David Beckham. ·        "If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day." - Neville Southall. ·        "I'd like to play for an Italian club like Barcelona " - Mark Draper. ·        "You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out." - Peter Shilton ·        "Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match." - Ian Wright. ·        "I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier." -  Ugo Ehiogu. ·        "I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." - Stuart Pearce. ·        "I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right." - Lee Hendrie. ·        "I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country." - Ian Rush. ·        "Germany are a very difficult team to play ... they had 11 internationals out there today." - Steve Lomas. ·        "I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock." - Barry Venison. ·        "The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukrainians will be more European." - Phil Neville. ·        "All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed." - Mitchell Thomas. ·        "One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best." - Alan Shearer. ·        "I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd." - Johnny Giles. ·        "Sometimes in football you have to score goals." - Thierry Henry.

 

Tailpiece

THE DIFFERENCE between A Scotsman and a canoe: A canoe tips occasionally.

Last word

Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.

Friedrich Nietzsche

GRAHAM LINSCOTT