This buzzing din
IS THERE a danger of the vuvuzela becoming a really serious irritant at the Football World Cup? During last weekend's Super-14 rugby final in Soweto, it was being blown so enthusiastically by fans that the din affected the quality of television commentaries.
Meanwhile, reader Richard Siedle says he has it on good authority that a vuvuzela produces 70 decibels of noise.
"The mind boggles at the thought of 60 to 70 000 being blown simultaneously at the Moses Mabhida Stadium next month. The stadium could well take off and sail away.
"The World Health Organisation states that 45 decibels is the maximum noise an aircraft can emit over a community on take-off. Thereafter, noise levels are considered to be a health hazard.
"There are going to be a lot more deaf people around at the end of the World Cup methinks."
Recent tradition
WHAT is the origin of the vuvuzela? Its proponents describe it as an African tradition, but if that's the case it's a very recent tradition – at football matches anyway.
My recollection is the vuvuzela – or something very like it – being distributed at Loftus Versfeld in the 1980s to promote the "Blue Bulls" branding of the Northern Transvaal rugby team. The noise was so hideous that the experiment was ended.
Did anyone ever blow the traditional bulls' horns at football matches before the vuvuzela began being mass-produced in plastic? I don't recall it.
Soweto success
MEANWHILE, rugby in Soweto seems to have been a resounding success and could be the start of social cohesion.
An account written by a Bulls supporter has come this way. It seems he left the bus to answer a call of nature and was left behind.
"I got off the bus and had leak at a Caltex garage. I was greeted as if I were JZ himself! I was even whisked into a clean toilet as the locals went about their business.
"But then there were no more buses. Now what?
"Anyway I walk out to the road and see a metro cop and say to him: 'Hey, Baba, how's an Mlungu gonna get to Nasrec now?'
"Shaking his kop, he says: "No problem, sir!' as he hails a clapped- out Hilux kombie and tells the driver to take me to the Park and Ride at Nasrec.
"I get in and sit next to the driver and am impressed as I check his Blue bulls flag and horns. I note his odometer and it shows 0000113km. I guess this is the third time it has ticked over. We smile at each other as we shake hands the South African way.
"Generously, he says: 'Free to Nasrec, my Blou Bul broer'. I feel at one with him all of a sudden as I notice the missing front tooth and reflect on the similarity between him and Irvin Khoza. 'One time!' I say, grinning and thinking to myself.
"Within 200m we collect another lonesome cowboy (from Centurion) also trying to get home and after that pick up another six white boys (from University of Johannesburg) with lots of beer but no wheels, also trying to get to Nasrec. Soon our taxi is filled with white boys all drinking and laughing at ourselves with the driver, listening to Jacaranda but all in awe of the day we just had.
"Winning or losing just doesn't matter anymore. I just want to experience more of the South Africa I somehow missed out on.
"Oh yes, Verwoerd and PW Botha turned in their graves. I felt it as the black oke next to me sang 'Maak die Bulle almal Bokke' and the Boertjie hugged me as if we were cousins.
"We live in interesting times. Bring on the World Cup!"
It's not clear whether he means the Football World Cup this month or the Rugby World Cup next year, but it's quite possibly both. Sport can be a great unifier.
Tailpiece
A KNIGHT and his men return to the castle after a hard day of fighting.
"How are we faring?" asks the king.
"Sire, I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."
"What? I don't have any enemies in the west!"
"Oh. Well you do now."
Last word
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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