| Spot the phony FORMER British prime minister Tony Blair had eggs and shoes flung at him when he arrived in Dublin for the launch of his memoirs. Most commentators attribute this to outrage at his part in the war in Iraq. But could it be more deep-seated and instinctual? Blair was the initiator of the studied casualness of public figures on TV these days – open-neck shirts and so on. "Look, I'm just one of the boys, a regular guy." Sure enough, there Blair was in Dublin in open-neck shirt and sporting a suntan, the man described by Frederick Forsyth as a "grinning mountebank." Was it the war in Iraq? Or was that hostile Irish crowd simply able to spot a phony? New puzzle LAST week's great Chinese puzzle – a giant traffic jam on the Beijing-Tibet highway - has cleared up. But it's been replaced by another. More than 10 000 lorries are stuck in the north-eastern region of Inner Mongolia, the jam stretching for 120km. They should do what we do in Durban when a traffic light changes and the vehicles don't move immediately – just hoot. It won't solve anything, but it would be another entry for the Guinness Book of World Records, this time in the decibels category. HERE'S a soulful account titled :"Journey of a man ": When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. |
Wood and iron
ON OCCASIONAL trips through the Midlands town of Howick, I've noticed a run-down wood and iron house on Main Street. But it's run-down no longer.
It's been converted into a spanking pub and restaurant, the interior gleaming old pine and - I think - bits of yellow wood. Situated on the Midlands Meander route, it seems to be doing a roaring trade. The place, originally erected in the 1860s, simply breathes character.
KwaZulu-Natal – Durban included – still has plenty of wood and iron houses, imported in kit form from England in the 19th century. Cool and sturdy, they are not to be despised. Their highest quality corrugated iron has not rusted, not even in Durban.
Could a locally manufactured wood and iron kit not be a more attractive alternative to the dismal RDP homes of cement blocks that surround out towns and cities?
Trees
AND ON THE topic of townships, is it not time the authorities provided financial incentives for the inhabitants to plant trees? Two trees per plot – one indigenous, one fruit – would transform these localities and provide a food source.
If you don't believe me, go to Pongola, in the far north of the province, and see what they've done there. The trees don't just provide shade, coolness and fruit, they provide a social environment.
Tailpiece
THE MANAGER at a brokerage firm sees a new clerk counting transaction slips at amazing speed.
"Where did you learn to count like that?"
"Yale."
"Yale? I also went to Yale. What's your name?"
"Yimmy Yohnson."
Last word
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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