Lines on a rugby epic
IT'S A HUGE match tomorrow, the old enemy. Some of us remember Natal's first-ever Currie Cup final back in 1956, when Northern Transvaal beat us 9-8. More of us remember 1990 when we took the Cup for the first time, beating them 18-12 in our centenary year.
Who can forget that transcendent moment when Tony Watson ghosted across to dot down the winning try – this after we'd taken a huge drubbing from Northerns only a fortnight earlier.
Golly Davies, of Cowies Hill, sends in a poem celebrating that epic, written by the late Archie van Reenen, a Tzaneen farmer who was a fervent supporter of Natal/the Sharks.
'Twas the final at Loftus, not a cloud was in sight,
The Bulls all victorious were sure of their might.
Assured of good ball from the loose and the tight,
And on top of it all Naas would give them a fright.
They would sting like a bee and fly like a kite,
The arme Engelse would surely turn white.
They'd been bliksemed and bliksemed – they couldn't bite,
They'd be ranting and raving way into the night.
So the rugby-kenners gathered and they bet and they bet,
Giving all sorts of odds to all that they met.
Ten to one on was the order of the day
And even more was also OK.
The invincible Bulls just could not be beat
And they promised their fans one hell of a treat.
So Loftus was jampacked – there wasn't a seat
And for poor old Natal only one thing – DEFEAT.
So Lock tried to shove and Gebrard to kick,
They thought it was easy – a flick of the Bic.
For they also had Uli and Robert and Pote
And at the base of the scrum they of course had Botha.
But Natal had made plans to counter-attack
With their speedy threequarters and wonderful pack.
With Wahl at the helm and Vleis and the rest,
They lifted the Cup and they gave of their best.
The Blue Bulls they ranted and raved and they cried,
They were so embarrassed they damn near died.
And after the match they behaved very badly,
They wouldn't have pictures – it ended so sadly.
And when Naas had to fetch the runner-up cup
He simply retreated, his lip buttoned up.
He showed his true colours and so did the rest
By never acknowledging Natal as the best!
Van Reenen? That's surely a Maritzburg College name. No wonder he supported Natal, even though he farmed at Tzaneen in the blue Bulls country.
Here's a weird one
STILL with sport, a strange story comes this way:
Once upon a time there was a South African rowing team. South Africa and Japan agreed to have an annual rowing race. Each team should contain eight men.
Both teams worked really hard to get in the best shape. The day the race started, both teams were in similar condition.
But the Japanese won by a mile.
The mood in the South African team was close to freezing point. Top management decided we simply had to win the next race. So they set up a task team of analysts to recommend a solution.
After several detailed analyses, the task team found that the Japanese crew had seven oarsmen and only one coxwain. The South African crew had seven coxwains but only one oarsman.
Facing such a critical scenario, management hired a consulting company to restructure the South African crew.
After several months, the consultants came to the conclusion that there were too many coxwains and too few oarsmen in the South African crew. A solution was proposed: the structure of the South African crew had to be changed.
There would be only four coxwains in the crew, led by two managers and one top-manager. There would be one oarsman. But the consultants suggested that the oarsman's working environment be improved and he be given higher competencies.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
I sincerely hope this is not an allegory of our approach to the Rugby World Cup next year.
Tailpiece
WHAT kind of material are the Pink Panther's pants made of?
Denim, denim,
Denim, denim, denim …
Last word
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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