Dressing for the occasion
A TELEVISION newsreader in Slovenia has been caught out reading the news in his underpants during a live broadcast. The TV anchor was presenting a programme called 24UR, which airs on commercial channel Pop TV.
Nobody would have noticed as he read the news seated at a desk. But when he slid his chair away from the desk during the closing credits, he was seen to be wearing jacket, shirt, tie and white Y-fronts. The footage has since become a YouTube hit.
The newsreader appears completely relaxed, as does the female colleague he wheels over to speak to. It is unclear why he had taken to the air without his trousers or whether he was even aware his strange attire was caught on camera.
I'm sure there's some perfectly simple and logical explanation. And what does it matter anyway whether a newsreader who works seated at a desk is wearing trousers or not?
I once knew a magistrate who, in the hot summer months, used to sit on the bench without his trousers. It was slightly comical if you met him in the passageway as he returned from his office after tea break – white calves visible beneath his magisterial gown, spiky black hairs on them – but technically decent.
What, for that matter, am I wearing as I compose this column? I could be wearing striped pyjamas. I could be wearing nothing but a top hat.
I will keep readers guessing.
Togged out
THE BBC USED to insist in the old days that its radio newsreaders should be attired in nothing less than full dinner jacket. This was not television, they could not be seen by the audience but things had to be done right, dash it!
It was the days of the BBC Voice. How could you speak a gentleman if you weren't dressed like a gentleman?
Then the SABC had a variation. As a newsreader read the radio bulletin live for the first time, one of his colleagues would come into the studio and stand in front of him. He would take off his jacket. Then his tie. Then his shirt. He would proceed to strip stark naked, the aim being to shake the reader's composure, get some choking laughter over the airwaves.
However, it probably doesn't happen any longer. There doesn't seem to be much humour about the SABC these days.
No news is good news
MEANWHILE, as the Slovenian newscaster was reading the news in his Y-fronts, a Norwegian counterpart caused a stir by saying: "Nothing important has happened".
It seems this was some kind of protest about her job, not like the occasion in Lesotho when the entire country was electrified, as the pips ended and the eight o'clock radio news bulletin began, to hear the words: "There is no news today. Instead we will listen to light music."
This usually means there's been a coup d'etat. But the reality on this occasion was that the newsreader had stopped on the way to the studio to answer a call of nature. Unfortunately he dropped the script he was about to read into the urinal, and that was that. "No news today – light music."
By the nine o'clock bulletin the material had been retyped and the country went back onto an even keel.
Mozzie
IT'S NOT BEEN a good week for newsreaders. In Taiwan, a Miss Ching was presenting the TV news when she unfortunately swallowed a mosquito. She went into a gasping fit which soon developed into an asthma attack.
A colleague took over the bulletin while Miss Ching was carted off to hospital, where she was kept for 24 hours.
Mozzies in the studio - it's worse than having a fellow take off his clothes in front of you.
Tailpiece
A MAN dressed in Napoleon costume, hand slipped inside his tunic, enters the psychiatrist's rooms and says: "Doctor, I need your help right away."
"I can see that," replies the doctor. "Please lie down on the couch and tell me your problem."
"I don't have any problem. In fact I'm the Emperor of France. I have everything I could possibly want. But my wife, Josephine, is in deep psychological trouble, I fear."
"I see. And what seems to be her problem?"
"She's delusional. She keeps thinking she's Mrs Smith."
Last word
The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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