Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Idler, Monday, November 1, 2010

This was an epic

 

SHUCKS, it's hard to be humble. I thought the drama and emotion of that Currie Cup final of 1990 could never be surpassed. Stephan Terblanche and his posse of heroes proved me wrong. This was consummate rugby, courage and character. What an amazing season it has been.

 

Western Province didn't know what hit them. They were tackled and driven out of the game. Then that desperate phase in the second half when Province took control but failed to put on points. They had the territory – we had the guts.

 

For the second time in a fortnight, that elusive chemistry of rugby showed itself, a cohesive team prevailing over an assembly of stars.

 

The groundsmen at King's Park had mowed the in-goal area at both ends into a kind of chess board of dark and light squares. Patrick Lambie couldn't resist it, he went through like a bishop, like a knight.

 

Checkmate!

 

Boone is back

 

OH, OH, OH, Bernadine … Pat Boone, heartthrob crooner of the fifties, has emerged as a spokesman for the Tea Party movement in the United States, that is making waves in the mid-term elections – not just for the Democrats but for mainline Republicans as well.

 

The Tea Partyists – they take their name from the Boston Tea Party, which sparked the American revolution against Britain - have a disaffection with just about everything that is going on in their country these days. And they do seem attuned to the public mood.

 

Boonesy is looking in pretty good shape. And when he comes out for the Tea Party, it's difficult to bracket them with the Ku Klux Klan and the other nutters.

 

Sarah Palin, former Governor of Alaska, is also prominent with the Tea Party. Oh boy, this is scary!

 

 

Brave new world

 

DOES anyone remember the smugness with which we entered the 21st century? Globalisation was the future, South Africa was a shining beacon of rectitude in the world.

 

Since then we've had 9/11, wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the collapse of the international banking system and widespread corruption, failure and disillusionment at home.

 

People are rioting in the streets of Paris. The leading industrial nations are close to bankruptcy. We are threatened by global warming. There's a nuclear build-up in the Middle East. International terrorism is ramping up. Talk about a mess!

 

And Sarah Palin in the US. Oh boy! Brave new world!

 

Banda's reign

 

READER David Pagan says last week's item on the puritanical values of President Banda of Malawi brings back memories of many happy holidays there during his reign.

 

He points out (quite correctly) that the dress code was more relaxed on the lake. (And Malawi's surface area is about two-thirds lake). Women seemed to enjoy wearing patio dresses all day, he says, and they could wear bathing costumes to swim in the lake. But he never did see a bikini.

 

 

"For all your remarks about censorship of photographs in newspapers, there is many a book I purchased and read in Malawi that was banned in South Africa. Apart from the dress rules, the country was very much less-uptight than South Africa under the Nats."

 

Too true. The old Publications Control Board (which didn't apply to newspapers) had adapted a well-known Italian expression to become its motto: "See nipples and die".

 

 

Bangi, bangi!

 

IN RESPONSE to last week's item on the botheration of trying to find Ordnance Road in name-changed Durban, Lylie Musgrave says they were much more sensible in post-colonial Kenya.

 

"The area of Nairobi where the Carrier Corps had their ordnance is still known as Kariobangi."

 

 

 

Tailpiece

 

TWO Aussies, Davo and Jonno, are adrift in a lifeboat. Rummaging through the boat's provisions, Davo stumbles across an old lamp. He rubs it vigorously and a genie appears.

However, this genie says that he can deliver only one wish, not the standard three.

Davo blurtsout: "Turn the entire ocean into beer. Make that Victoria Bitter!"

The genie claps his hands with a deafening crash, and the sea turns into beer. The genie vanishes.


Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull breaks the stillness as the two consider their new circumstances. Jonno looks disgustedly at Davo.


"Nice going Davo! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!"

 

Last word

There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality.

Pablo Picasso

GRAHAM LINSCOTT

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