Commonwealth Games
I SUPPOSE it's a bit late to offer Durban as an alternative venue for the Commonwealth Games in New Delhi, but it might be worth a shot.
A ceiling has collapsed in the hall where the weightlifting events are supposed to be staged. A footbridge to the stadium has collapsed. The Athletes' Village is still under construction and is said to be unfit for human habitation.
And there's the ever-present threat of terrorist attacks, which have already cancelled cricket in neighbouring Pakistan.
All we need now is news that Indian bookies are accepting spot bets on the hop, step and jump.
England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales are weighing up whether they will go or not. What kind of Commonwealth Games would it be without the core of the Commonwealth? It seems our own athletes are also a bit cagey about going.
Would it be feasible to relocate to Durban? It's an intriguing thought.
Let's have order!
LAND of the free – flying kites, digging holes and oversized brollies are to be banned from a beach near Perth, Western Australia.
The local council at Cottesloe has been criticised for "petty meddling". But a council report says the existing rules are "inadequate to deal with certain demands and situations".
Quite right. Allow unrestricted kite flying and hole digging on the beach – not to mention big brollies - and next thing you've got anarchy.
Yobbos rule!
TWENTY-SIX incidents of anti-social behaviour are reported to the British police every minute, according to Sir Denis O'Connor, Chief Inspector of Constabulary. The yobs are winning, according to a range of commentators, and most say the rot began to set in decades ago.
The problem, it seems, is that the police don't consider bad behaviour to be real crime.
Can it be turned around? I really must rid myself of the habit I have, whenever I visit London, of spitting at people in Oxford Street.
Party hats
PROFESSOR Brian Kearney, architect and heritage custodian, adds his voice to the tribute paid to hotelier David Rawdon who has died at the age of 85.
"Though I did not know him well, one small incident speaks of the man and his unique way with people. About seven years ago while travelling from the southern Cape to Sutherland to see the construction of the new South African Large Telescope (Salt), my wife and I overnighted at the Lord Milner at Matjiesfontein.
"Seated on the terrace enjoying a cup of coffee, we observed David arriving in his car to consult with his builder about additions being made to the hotel. At that time he cruised around the Cape on a fortnightly basis in his purple Rolls Royce from Lanzerac, at Stellenbosch, on to the Marine at Hermanus and then to the Lord Milner.
"Later that evening, after dinner, he approached the few guests in the hotel and invited them for a drink in the bar. Naturally, all being strangers to one another, the occasion commenced rather stiffly and quietly until he asked the barman to bring out a box from the back of the bar.
"This contained a magical assortment of hats. Within no time the party was on and a memorable one too, especially meeting David who always loved taking about his earlier years in Natal.
"I am sure that was not the first or the last time he used the box of hats."
Nationalisation
THERE'S much talk of nationalising the mines. The winners, of course, would be the monopoly capitalists because they would then immediately be hired as contract management – fat fees, no more capital at risk.
It happened before in Zambia when the bearded advisers in kaftans and sandals from the London School of Economics persuaded Kenneth Kaunda to nationalise the copper mines. Anglo-American laughed all the way to the bank.
Unless, of course, the nationalisation lobby have in mind putting the mines under the control of the same bureaucrats who are running the schools and the hospitals.
No, surely not.
Spot the pig
READER Gray Braatvedt says this whole saga about the Pigspotter twitter is just a cop-out.
Tailpiece
A YACHT gets into trouble off the German coast. The skipper radios: "Mayday, Mayday, we are sinking!"
The radio crackles into life: "Und vat are you sinking about?"
Last word
I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
GRAHAM LINSCOTT
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