Blame Punxsutawney Phil!
THEY'RE taking a pasting from the weather in the northern hemisphere - blizzards, ice, gales and sub-zero temperatures in the early days of spring. In America there are signs of unrest. People are taking it out on a groundhog named Punxsutawney Phil. (A groundhog is a creature something like our cane rat. It's no more a hog than ours is a rat).
In the state of Pennsylvania, groundhog Punxsutawney Phil goes through an obscure ceremony every year with the townsfolk of a place called Gobbler's Knob, to determine whether spring will come early or late.
If he is unable to see his shadow cast when he emerges from his hole in the ground on February 1, there will be an early spring. This year Punxsutawney Phil cast no shadow, thereby predicting that early spring.
Spring officially arrived in America last Wednesday, with the above-mentioned blizzards, ice, gales and sub-zero temperatures. The disgust of those who rely on Punxsutawney Phil's predictions has spread beyond the borders of Pennsylvania.
A prosecutor in the state of Ohio has now issued summons against him for the felony of misrepresentation with prior purpose and design. He says he might even demand the death penalty.
These are ominous developments. It's not clear how a prosecutor in Ohio can act against a groundhog in Pennsylvania. We trust this is not the prelude to a rerunning of the American Civil War.
Why a Test?
ENGLAND fought a magnificent rearguard action in Auckland to draw the Third Test (and the series) against New Zealand. As they went into that final day, England batting coach Graham Gooch remarked on TV that it would be tough "but that's why we call it a Test."
Is he right about that? I've always understood that the term "Test match" comes from the first-ever match played between an all-England and an all-Australian side, early in the 19th century. The Aussies were students in England and the thing was considered a novelty.
The match was played on the Test ground in Hampshire, so named because the River Test flows past it. When they got around to selecting proper national sides, the expression "Test match" carried through from that early experiment.
Then people also started calling rugby internationals "Tests". In this country it jumped languages as well and we had the rugby "Toets".
That's how I've always understood it. Yet Google has nothing on it. There is a ground in Hampshire where they play Tests, but that's the Rose Bowl at Southampton. The River Test does flow past it in a sense but by that stage it's merged with other rivers, it's gone tidal and it's called Southampton Water.
Have I been deluded all these years? I think not. The term "Test match" is a little odd when you think of it. I can recall as a child wondering why the adults were getting so wound up about these "Test matches". When would they start playing the real matches?
Can anyone out there shed some light?
SA origins
ONE DOESN'T want to be churlish but Matt Prior, who held the fort for England, also has South African origins. He was born in Johannesburg and moved to England with his parents when he was 11.
I suppose you could say his cricket really developed in England. They're getting there, the Poms are, they're getting there.
Car guards?
ROB NICOLAI, Howick's astrophysicist, quantum mechanic and towering intellect, now describes himself also as the Nkandla Automobile Protection Consultant.
He questions what our forces were doing in the Central African Republic (CAR) in the first place.
"Does our commander-in-chief, JZ, think our army has better potential as CARguard forces?"
Sound familiar?
READER Tim Dodson, of Glenashley, quotes from the London Observer: "Although Iraq may now have the appearance of democracy - elections and political parties - it lacks the functional realities. It is beset by corruption, nepotism and an often scant regard for the rule of law."
"Shouldn't we all emigrate there?" he asks. "We'd feel right at home, wouldn't we?"
Tailpiece
Paddy and Mick are tickling trout. Mick holds Paddy by the ankles from a bridge.
"Pull me up, Mick, quick!"
"You got a trout?"
"No, dere's a train comin'!"
Last word
The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
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