Boerewors, not candy floss
WHO WANTED candy floss? Many of the punters at King's Park last Saturday seemed aggrieved at the lack of tries, the 0-0 score at half-time. But this was a day for the infantry, not the cavalry. And who got the points?
Yet it's strange how the game of rugby has developed. In a dour, grinding match such as this, one thinks back to those pre-teen days when we would play rugby on the front lawn. Two teams lined up shallow, trying to burst across the advantage line. Tackle, tackle, tackle! Not much else.
It was a scrambling, mauling game. Who dreamed then that we were setting the pattern for top-flight international rugby?
Pub art
IAN GIBSON, poet laureate of Hillcrest, asks, apropos last week's piece on Maritzburg College and the Black Horse Bar, if I remember the picture in the Black Horse entitled "The Relief of Lady Smith"? (Ian was a master at College and coached me cricket, which means he can take some of the credit for my guile as a leg-spin bowler).
I do indeed remember that picture. It depicted the good Lady sitting on the potty.
In fact there were all kinds of pictures, cartoons and statuary in the Black Horse, most of which would have met with the disapproval of the vicar. I wonder what became of them?
Also, what became of the store of military memorabilia? The Black Horse had been used for decades by British troops garrisoned at nearby Fort Napier, and the place was festooned with badges and knick-knacks from India and all over the Empire of those days.
On a wall behind the bar was a bayonet. It fitted exactly into a groove on the side of the counter, which was where a drunken sergeant had transfixed an officer one night. The sergeant was shot at dawn (an extreme hangover cure).
This is part of our history. How the authorities could allow a repository like the Black Horse to disappear is beyond understanding.
Trivial Pursuits
SPEAKING of Lady Smith, here's a good Trivial Pursuits question. What nationality was she?
Lady Smith was Spanish. Sir Harry, who later became Governor of the Cape, wooed and won her while he was fighting the Peninsula War against Napoleon.
It's said that the melon, spaanspek (meaning Spanish bacon), got its name from Lady Smith's habit of eating it for breakfast every morning. There's another Trivial Pursuits question.
Town names
THE SMITH couple made quite an impact during their tenure of governorship, if we're to judge by the naming of towns. There's our Ladysmith, place of the Boer War siege; there's Ladismith in the Klein Karoo; and of course there's Harrismith, in the Free State.
In the old days they were free and easy with their "i"s and their "y"s.
What a Lulu!
MEANWHILE, the poet laureate of Hillcrest pens some lines on Lulu Xingwana.
Has our minister called Lulu Xingwana
Been smoking something like whonga?
For her racial remarks
Could ignite dangerous sparks,
And land all of us deep in a donga.
Nordic surprises
AT ST CLEMENT'S tonight the cognoscenti look with anticipation toward a new Gisele Turner story titled Miss Mousie – which, according to the billing, is "definitely not for children". Also toward her reading of The Goat Girl, a folk story from Norway that is "full of surprises."
I'm sure we all enjoy being surprised by Norwegian girls. Add in jazz-singer/guitarist Cari Mottian and it looks like being a lively evening.
La difference
A DIFFERENCE between men and women: If Sheila, Candy and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Sheila, Candy and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out for lunch, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
Odd but true enough.
Tailpiece
SHE'S looking sexy and seductive in a bikini.
"Have you ever seen a R50 note all crumpled up?"
"No".
She pulls out a crumpled-up R50 note from her bikini top.
"Have you ever seen a R100 note all crumpled up?"
"No."
She pulls out a crumpled-up R100 note from her bikini bottom.
"Have you ever seen R250 000 all crumpled up?"
"No. What do you mean?"
"Come to the garage, I'll show you!"
Last word
Never believe anything until it has been officially denied.
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