Rugby in fine style
CYMRU am byth – Wales forever! The Welsh came through with a blistering win over a hapless England last weekend to win the Six Nations in fine style after a stuttering start to the competition.
The hitherto superbly-drilled England just weren't in the game. And Ireland went down to Italy. What a season for the Italians. The Six Nations won't be the same again.
And France? Did they ever have a more abysmal season? Quelle horreur!
What's that you say? Super rugby? The Sharks? The Bulls? No, we don't talk about these things in polite company.
Good in bed
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-40s: "Damn right I'm good in bed. I can stay there all day."
Cricket success
READER Barbara Lane joins in the celebration of the success in New Zealand of Durban boy Nick Compton, now playing cricket for England, as mentioned last week.
Nick is the son of Durban sports personality and man-about-town Richard Compton, grandson of the great Denis (who played cricket for England and dominated world-wide) and nephew of Patrick, cricket scribe on this newspaper.
Barbara is a cricket aficionado and recalls days of yore when I recorded the fortunes of the Durban Press XI, in which skipper Richard, "the Compton Boy", and brother Patrick both featured.
"We were kept informed of the triumphs (and very occasional failures) of the Durban Press XI and I was always sorry to hear when 'the Compton Boy' did not utilise his deadliest legspin bowler to full advantage.
"Who would have guessed in those far-off days that the Compton Boy's son would one day not only be playing for England, but doing it so successfully?"
Now there's a lady who knows her cricket. Deadliest legspin bowler … She said it, not me.
Outside the box
WE ARE CONSTANTLY urged these days to "think outside the box". Some examples come this way.
· Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed? - At the bottom of the page.
· The River Ravi flows in which state? – Liquid.
· What is the main reason for divorce? – Marriage.
· What is the main reason for failure? – Exams.
· What can you never eat for breakfast? - Lunch and dinner.
· What looks like half an apple? - The other half.
· If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? – Wet.
· How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? - No problem, he sleeps at night.
· How can you lift an elephant with one hand? – You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.
· If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have? - Very large hands.
· If it took eight men 10 hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? - No time at all, the wall is already built.
· How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? - Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
Okay, you can put him back in the box now.
Rude shock
A RESTAURANT waitress in the US had a shock when she was handed a driver's licence for ID when a woman customer ordered an alcoholic drink. The licence was her own, which had been stolen a few weeks earlier.
Brianna Priddy, who works at a restaurant in Lakewood, Colorado, kept cool and phoned the police while putting together the order. They arrived and made an arrest.
Oddly enough, the woman customer is already 26 and the waitress would not have challenged her to prove she was old enough to order a margarita.
Ping-thud-clunk
PRICES displayed in a local car repair shop:
Ping-ping-ping - R70.
Plunk-ping-plunk – R100
Klunk-ping-klunk – R250
Thud-klunk-thud – R400
Clank-thud-clank – R650.
Tailpiece
A RABBI, a Catholic priest and a Protestant minister are caught playing poker in a Mid-West American town where gambling is illegal. The sheriff hauls them before the local judge.
Judge: "Were you gambling, Father?"
Priest (fingers crossed): "No, your honour, I was not gambling."
Judge: "Were you gambling, Reverend?"
Minister (fingers crossed): "No, your honour, I was not."
Judge: "Were you gambling, Rabbi?"
Rabbi: "With whom?"
Last word
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
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