The best of times …
NOBODY better captured the splendour and grime of 19th century London than Charles Dickens - opulence counterpoised against misery, progress against social collapse. Most of us studied Dickens at one time or another yet seldom, if ever, has he been used to illustrate conditions in South Africa.
But it happened this week at St Clement's, the regular soiree where like-minded folk get together to appreciate fine wines, fine food and the arts. Stage personalities Richard Finch and Jane Ross were reading – and part-acting – selections from Oliver Twist, Great Expectations and Nicholas Nickleby. They got across vividly the childhood trauma and sadness that had moulded Dickens's character and the vivacity of spirit that set him on his literary career.
Then the opening lines of A Tale of Two Cities: "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."
How true this was of South Africa today, Finch observed.
Right on! Hope and despair, light and darkness – depending where you are in the human heap; whether you're in a plush gated community or a squatter camp. A booming stock exchange … Marikana. It makes ya think.
Piece de resistance was an unscripted rendition by compere Pieter Scholtz of Fagin's song in the musical, Oliver. All in all, a splendid and entertaining evening.
Instant action
CHILDREN as young as 10 are said to be drinking alcohol. Shocking!
What is the government going to do about it? Why, raise the age at which you can have a drink in a bar from 18 to 21. That'll fox these 10-year-olds who nip from the playground to the pub round the corner, passing themselves off as 18.
Futility is the word that springs to mind.
Punch-up
DEMOCRACY continues on its robust course in the Ukraine.
Members of a far-right opposition party booed the President after he made a speech in parliament. They were then accused of being neo-fascists. At which several fights broke out simultaneously, one involving a woman MP.
Members climbed onto the parliamentary benches to launch themselves at one another. Proceedings were then suspended.
Another day in Ukrainian democracy. It's a lot more fun than when things were decided behind closed doors by a politburo.
Iraq anniversary
IT'S TEN years since the US invasion of Iraq. American satirist Andy Borowitz marks the occasion with a report on a commemoration ceremony held in the grounds of the Halliburton Company headquarters by former Vice-President Dick Cheney, former Defence Secretary Robert Rumsfeld, former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice and former Deputy Secretary for Defence, Paul Wolfowitz.
"Making up a reason to invade a country is the easy part," Cheney is quoted as telling them. "Sticking to a pretend story for 10 years—that is the stuff of valour."
The ceremony ended on an emotional note, Borowitz says, as Cheney placed a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Weapon of Mass Destruction.
Former President George W Bush (who has taken up painting in retirement) was said to be otherwise engaged. He was represented at the event by a nude self-portrait.
Lovely stuff! Great satire!
Today and yesterday
OVERHEARD in the Street Shelter for the Over-40s:
"I feel like punching the boss in the face again."
"Again?"
"Yes, I also felt like punching him in the face yesterday."
Tailpiece
TWO VETERANS are sitting in the MOTH club.
"When last did you make love to a woman?"
"Er, 1947."
"That's a long time ago."
"Not really. It's only five past eight now."
Last word
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. - Mae West
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