Keeping anarchy at bay
AN 80-YEAR-OLD pensioner from Waterfall, who calls herself "Hopping Mad", says she was given a R200 traffic ticket when she parked in St Margaret's Road the other day.
"My crime? My licence disc was stuck on the left-hand side of my windscreen (easily readable) about half-way up. According to the police, it should have been positioned on the bottom of the windscreen.
"We have noticed Metro officers waving a friendly greeting to the minibus drivers who drive the wrong way down the one-way street. Nothing is done about that. Where is the justice?"
One sympathises. The instinctive reaction is to advise a confrontation with a senior Metro officer, to be concluded with a bringing down of a venerable umbrella on the cranium of such officer.
But in these turbulent times we have to temper our thoughts and actions. Which is the more desirable? Good relations with the taxi drivers or confrontation and possibly a shoot-out? Hence the friendly waves.
And – good heavens! – what anarchy might not be unleashed if people were allowed to put their licence discs half-way up the windscreen? What Pandora's Box might not be opened? It might lead to such things as police having to drag suspects behind police vans; open fire on strikers.
We need order. It starts with licence discs. You have to see the big picture.
Hokey-which?
IS THAT dance called the Hokey-Cokey or the Hokey-Pokey? Some uncertainty has arisen since this column's description recently of its being regularly performed in the boardrooms of the SABC and South African Airways.
A bit of research reveals that in Britain it's the Hokey-Cokey. In America, Canada, Ireland and Australia it's the Hokey-Pokey. In New Zealand it's the Hokey-Tokey. And in various other parts of the world it's the Okey-Cokey or the Cokey-Cokey.
That's what it's all about!
Meanwhile, Zoltan de Rosner, of Pennington, sends in a poignant little postscript.
"With all the trauma and sadness going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which went almost unnoticed recently. Larry La Prise, the man who wrote The Hokey Pokey, died
peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in ... and then the trouble started."
Rugby reward
THE FAITHFUL were rewarded at King's Park at the weekend by a display of purposeful rucking and mauling, running, handling and tackling that made the previous week's miserable showing all the more puzzling. But that's the way the cookie crumbles in rugby. Sometimes the fellows get into the mode of a bird staring at a snake.
Especially pleasing was speed to the point of breakdown and the rucking that followed. The try count was simply phenomenal. When would Keegan Daniel; declare? Not a bit of it, they kept on running the ball, even after the final hooter had sounded, when most winning sides would just boot it into the grandstand.
'Twas tolerable, 'twas tolerable.
Double billing
MEANWHILE, there's nothing so silent as an empty stadium. The curtain-raiser was also a humdinger, where a Sharks XV – understudies of the main side – beat Free State 34-33 in a Vodacom Cup match where the lead kept switching, right into the final minutes. An absolute cliffhanger of a game, great rugby.
Yet the stadium was practically empty. The punters pour in just before the main match. It seems a great pity. The rugby administrators are putting on some good stuff. The curtain-raisers are surely the opportunity to rejuvenate club rugby, boost schools rugby.
But how do you persuade the punters to get in early and provide the atmosphere? That's the hard one.
Oops!
PEOPLE in Tel Aviv were astonished to see a long, sleek, black limousine with heavily tinted windows being transported through the city on a flatbed lorry. It turned out to be a heavily armoured VIP vehicle shipped into Israel in advance of President Obama's visit, part of a fleet for his party's use.
An embarrassing mechanical breakdown? No, it seems somebody put dieseline in the tank instead of petrol.
Duh!
Tailpiece
He: "How about some slap and tickle?"
She: "Your place or mine?"
He: "Look, forget it if you're going to argue!"
Last word
Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there.
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