The Idler, Monday, February 25, 2013

A talk rescheduled

 

LOCAL boy Kyle Abbott was supposed to speak to a group of cricket aficionados – we call ourselves the Natal Cricket Society – at Kingsmead last Wednesday. But he had to cancel because he'd been called up to the national squad as a replacement for Jacques Kallis.

 

We were delighted, of course, but who could have predicted the dynamite he produced up at Centurion?

 

You could see the lad was nervous as a kitten as he ran in to deliver his first ball for South Africa. It was driven through midwicket for four. But Kyle showed guts, he settled down, bowled some amazing stuff with controlled aggression and came away with a haul of seven wickets. Sensational!

 

The South African bowling attack takes on yet another prodigy. And the Natal Cricket Society looks forward to a rescheduling of his chat.

 

What a weekend it was for KZN. Kyle Abbott and then that pulsating Super Rugby win in Bloemfontein. All things considered, 'twas tolerable, 'twas tolerable.

 

Rugby blues

 

MEANWHILE, the BLUE Bulls beat the Stormers 25-17 in the opening Super Rugby match of the local season.

 

Well, I think it was the Bulls who won but you can't be sure. Both sides were in close to identical blue jerseys, blue shorts and blue stockings. All the occasion lacked was the grass at Loftus being dyed blue, plus a blue ball.

 

Modern rugby is tailored for television? We hope the administrators behind all this never get called upon to organise a booze-up in a brewery.

 

 

Sign up!

 

PATRIOTISM stirs. Rob Nicolai, Howick's astrophysicist, quantum mechanic and towering intellect, has taken on the additional mantle of Public Relations Supremo, Nkandla.

 

He sends out one of those e-mails which ask us to append our signature. It has been circulating for 14 months, he says, and has been sent to more than 22 million people. He appeals to us to keep it going.

 

The content: "To show your support for President Jacob Zuma and the great job he is doing, please go to the end of the list and add your name."

 

Names on the list so far:

·        Mac Maharaj.

·        Rob Nicolai.

 

Cricket or rugby?

 

LINDA McGregor points out that the hymn, Jerusalem – which I described last week as being close to an anthem for English rugby enthusiasts - is sung by the Barmy Army when the England players walk out for a cricket Test. The anthem most commonly sung by English rugby fans is Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, she says.

 

Well yes, all that is true. But I've also heard English rugby supporters fairly belting out Jerusalem, notably late at night during the last British Lions tour.

 

Maybe Linda should join us tonight at St Clement's. She can sing the descant.

Nun of this!   AN IRISH publican has been prosecuted and fined after police found dozens of nuns drinking illegally on his premises, several hours past closing time. In fact his pub was raided twice in the same night, nuns both times being found knocking it back in fine style.   Christy Walsh, who runs the bar in Listowel, County Kerry, was fined €700 (R8 500). But he feels aggrieved. It was all for charity and the nuns were not really nuns, they were people in fancy dress who had – for charity – earlier broken the Guinness World record for "people dressed up as nuns." The event raised a significant sum.   Not real nuns? If the Gardai had known that at the time, they would really have thrown the book at Walsh.   Basketball star   HE'S KNOWN as the Harlem Globe Otter … an ancient sea otter in Oregon Zoo, in the US, has developed basketball skills. Fifteen-year-old Eddie the Otter suffers from arthritis in his elbows. The zoo vets decided basketball would improve his joint function. They provided a ball and a hula-hoop as a target for him to throw at. After some brief coaching, they couldn't stop Eddie's shots and slam-dunks.. He's now a star turn in the zoo. Next week they start teaching him baseball.   Tailpiece   THE LITTLE girl tells her mother a boy in her class asked her to play doctor-doctor. Mother (nervously): "Oh, dear. What happened?" Little girl: "He made me wait 45 minutes, then he double-billed the medical aid."     Last word   I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx