Sinking a shot
IF DURBAN golfers are dissatisfied about the condition of the course at Windsor, they should try Annbriar Golf Course at Waterloo, Illinois, in the US.
Mark Mihal was playing the 14th when all of a sudden the rest of the party couldn't see him. They heard a moaning, which came from where he'd been standing. Mihal had been swallowed by a 5m deep sinkhole.
A ladder from the clubhouse was too short and eventually one of his pals pluckily jumped in to help him out.
"I felt the ground start to collapse and it happened so fast that I couldn't do anything," Mihal said. "I reached for the ground as I was going down and it gave way, too. It seemed like I was falling for a long time. The real scary part was I didn't know when I would hit bottom and what I would land on."
He was left with a dislocated shoulder.
Too much divot, obviously, too much divot.
Mystery voters
IN A REFERENDUM, the people of the Falkland Islands voted by a majority of 99.8 percent to remain British. No surprises there – and the bookies were offering no attractive odds.
You probably wouldn't get decent odds either on the Argentines ever dislodging them. Since the Falklands War, the Brits have put in a strong military base. And, of course, there's oil in the offing.
The Falklands population is tiny. They've worked out that a vote of 99.8 percent in favour means there were exactly three votes against the islands remaining British. There was a delightful moment as Sky TV's Alan Boulton interviewed Falklands Governor Nigel Haywood.
Did he have any idea who those three voters were? A huge grin split the governor's face. His eyes practically danced.
No, he had no idea at all, he said, still making like a Cheshire Cat. People were entitled to their private opinions.
You bet he knew! The local poaching syndicate? A squiz at the Port Stanley court rolls would probably be revealing. But Haywood was not letting on.
Poof!
IT'S GREAT news that South Africa has agreed to buy more than half the output of the first stage of the $10 billion (R733billion) Inga Falls hydro-electric project in the Congo. As a senior official of the Department of Energy says, it could catalyse the power industry throughout southern Africa.
How nice it would be if this were to also catalyse our own Tugela Basin, which exhaustive scientific and economic studies over the years have shown could provide the hydro-electric energy for something like six major cities and still leave enough water flowing into the Indian Ocean to serve a metropolis the size of Greater London.
The old Natal Town and Regional Planning Commission worked on it from 1947 into the 1990s. Hydrologists and economists earned PhDs studying it. The national Department of Water Affairs identified some 26 hydro-electric sites on the Tugela and its tributaries. It had long-term plans for a catchment transfer from the Eastern Cape to the Tugela Basin, providing massive employment on infrastructure for generations..
And now? Poof! Disappeared! The Tugela Basin is not the elephant in the room, it's the elephant under the carpet.
See ya later …
AN ALLIGATOR in Arizona, who had his tail bitten off eight years ago, has been given a new prosthetic one by keepers.
Nicknamed "Mr Stubbs", he was one of 32 alligators confiscated from the back of a truck eight years ago. His tail was missing, believed to have been chewed off by one of his companions.
Mr Stubbs was given to the Phoenix Herpetological Society and now has a three feet long prosthetic attachment crafted from silicone by an institute that ordinarily provides orthopaedic care for humans.
He's doing well with it and they're looking for a new nickname.
Are alligators allowed to compete in the Paralympics?
Tailpiece
THE MISER insisted that when he died all his money must be buried with him. Came the day and his wife slipped an envelope into the coffin before it was closed.
"What's this?" asked a friend.
"His last wish – to be buried with all his money. I put everything he had into my account and wrote him a cheque."
Last word
The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time.
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